Recently one of my good friends from highschool, Courtney, sent me a DVD of home videos of us from 8th grade through our senior year. Needless to say there was a little bit of everything! There was even some amazing footage of us playing percussion in the Jr. High band. And looking back you realize how glad you are that you made it out of those awkward years. Very awkward years.
There was footage of us talking about Golddusters, the dance squad we were on that took up most of our time throughout highschool. We talked about boys. We talked about life, marriage, food, what other people were doing, and just about anything you can imagine highschool girls talking about. Watching myself in these videos was really comical and interesting at the same time.
Looking back at my 15 year old self I am amazed at what has happened in my life these past 10 years. With that I think I would have some advice to give to myself or some things to tell myself to look forward to. Within these truths I have learned, I can see that they are not things life have taught me. They are things God has shown and revealed to me alone.
Do not delay your obedience. You will suffer the consequences even if you do eventually get around to do what God asked.
You will face trials. Prepare yourself. Your faith will be tried by fire. By the grace of God alone you will come through.
You will see the nations and yearn for their salvation.
You will live around the world. You will love it.
Excuses come fast. Ignore them and how Satan wants to distract from the things God has spoken to you.
Love well. You will encounter many you do not want to love, but you must
As soon as you say you don’t want to do something, God, seemingly and maybe with a little chuckle, will ask you to do just that. Be open at all times to his call. There are blessings in that.
Do not be tempted by the things of this world. Materialism is justified by the American dream and culture. Fight against that.
Responsibility will fall upon you that you do not want. You won’t know what to do unless you seek the Lord. Know he has given this to you expecting you to do great things for his kingdom.
Plunge into the Bible. When Satan attacks those scriptures will come to your mind to revive you.
God will show you things you never would imagine if only you’ll follow him.
You will understand what it means for God's heart and desires to become your own.
There is a seen and unseen war. Fight the good fight begging those around you to respond to the love of Christ.
Do not get weary of doing good.
The world will know you are a follower of Christ by how you love other followers and people who have yet to know of his love.
Thanks be to him for teaching me these lessons over the past ten years. And praise be to him the person he is shaping me to be. Pray that I continue to grow into these things and hold them as truth.
In Him,
Taryn
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Saturday, September 17, 2011
Counting the Victories
I've hit another wall. The weather is changing and my body is making me fully aware of that. Pain is near and my body feels worn down. On the days when I'm overwhelmed at how I am continually affected by this accident that shook my body, I have to count the victories. It's the only way I can keep my head up when I feel like I am taking steps backwards. These are just a few of the victories, granted by my Father God, I have had since the beginning:
Waking up in a hospital bed and knowing I'd be okay
Learning how to move myself from a hospital bed to a wheelchair.
Forcing myself to eat (initially liquids) so that my body would get strong.
Sharing the Gospel with hospital workers and telling my hospital roommate that I would pray for her.
Talking through a wired jaw.
Talking in Spanish through a wired jaw.
A release from the hospital.
Learning how to bend my knees again.
Learning how to give myself shots for 2 times a day for 2 months. And saying goodbye to the shots and the bruises they left on my body.
Rolling over in my bed with bandaged legs.
Convincing everyone that I still needed the job and Spain and God graciously allowing me to keep it.
Watching bruises fade away from my arms and face and even now watching the final bruises on my legs fade.
Riding home for 18 hours in a medical transport (it was more like being bumped up and down for 18 hours in the back of a cattle truck)without getting sick. Imagine what problems could've caused with a mouth wired shut.
Facing the shock of people's faces who didn't know me and letting it roll off my back. I didn't look so hot for awhile.
Getting my mouth unwired and hearing my voice for the first time in 6 weeks. Seeing the tears of joy in my mother's eyes as she heard my voice for the first time as well.
Two of my best friends, Christy and Kate, visiting me and watching me eat a soft cookie for the very first food I had eaten since the accident (after my mouth was unwired)
Going to Christmas Eve service with my family even though I was exhausted. Crying at the beauty of the song O Come, O Come Emmanuel and feeling humbled that I should get to sing it.
Sitting on the couch Christmas day.Before this I couldn't transfer myself from my wheelchair to any other chairs. My dad had to lift me to the couch.
Sneaking myself and my wheelchair into my bedroom. Later my dad moved my dressers out of the doorway so I could get in and out.
Maneuvering around the kitchen one afternoon unloading the dishwasher to prove to myself that I could do something small and useful.
Using the sink in my bathroom to practice standing before anyone told me I could get out of my wheelchair.
Walking for the first time.
Saying goodbye to the hospital bed/ makeshift hospital room in our house and finally moving into my bedroom.
Learning to walk around the house with a walker.
Learning to walk around the house without the balance of a walker.
Never having to use a cane. I just couldn’t bring myself to allow that to happen.
Learning to walk up and down stairs.
Learning to bounce on a trampoline.
Wearing normal shoes when the swelling went down enough.
The sores on my legs from the swelling healing, finally.
Going to bed without needing to keep the walker by my bedside.
Waking up and being able to take medicine on my own during the night.
Learning to pray for my friends around the world when the pain kept me up at night.
Praying in battle with my mom and dad every night.
Getting rid of that dumb walker.
Sharing my story of God's work with different churches and youth.
Going to therapy 3 times a week for several hours each session. Making my body my slave each time.
Going to the Hispanic ministry at church every Wednesday and Sunday to learn Spanish.
One Sunday telling my mom I didn't want to go to church or to the Spanish service. She told me if I didn't care enough about learning Spanish I should reconsider if I should really be doing the job I was working to go and do. I sat in my bathroom. Pouted and cried. Then told myself to suck it up and rolled out in my little wheelchair to go to church and to learn Spanish. Victory.
Losing tons of my hair and reminding myself it was a good thing God gave me thick hair.
Finishing some training in VA in March. My first big trip on my own in the airport and all.
Walking around Walmart for about 45 minutes.
Driving for the first time.
Being able to sleep on my belly.
Going to the farm with Dad.
Going to Spain only to get stuck because of a volcano in Munich.
Arriving 5 days later in Spain.
Facing the walking and stairs every day in Spain.
Living with cankles and telling myself that they are cute.
Feeling like I lost my personality in the pain and then realizing who I am is in Christ alone.
Crying out to God and Him answering me.
Hearing people pray for me in moments of despair and God lifting the pain in those moments.
In moments when my legs were too tired to go on feeling someone step into my legs and walk for me.
Having the ability to share God loves with my therapists in Spain. I would not have access to them without my injuries.
Accepting that God's victories and how he has used me these past several months has been about him. Not about me.
Learning perseverance.
Learning patience.
Realizing I'm not alone in a battle like this.
Knowing that I can rest in where God has me even though Satan would like me to put more pressure on myself than necessary.
Gaining a platform that is suffering that allows me to speak into people's lives. Somehow we listen better to those who have hurt.
Running and it hurting like you know what. But doing it anyways.
Seeing that God's reign is not limited by any schemes of the devil in which he would have us be discouraged and believe that God has left us.
He who has begun a good work in me will finish it. AMEN!
I know I have so many more victories than this. This list skims over a few that I have seen and remember. Somehow it feels good to reflect on God's faithfulness within each and every victory. However small or large. I fall at the feet of the victorious king I will always worship.
Standing (literally and figuratively) in His Victory,
Taryn
Waking up in a hospital bed and knowing I'd be okay
Learning how to move myself from a hospital bed to a wheelchair.
Forcing myself to eat (initially liquids) so that my body would get strong.
Sharing the Gospel with hospital workers and telling my hospital roommate that I would pray for her.
Talking through a wired jaw.
Talking in Spanish through a wired jaw.
A release from the hospital.
Learning how to bend my knees again.
Learning how to give myself shots for 2 times a day for 2 months. And saying goodbye to the shots and the bruises they left on my body.
Rolling over in my bed with bandaged legs.
Convincing everyone that I still needed the job and Spain and God graciously allowing me to keep it.
Watching bruises fade away from my arms and face and even now watching the final bruises on my legs fade.
Riding home for 18 hours in a medical transport (it was more like being bumped up and down for 18 hours in the back of a cattle truck)without getting sick. Imagine what problems could've caused with a mouth wired shut.
Facing the shock of people's faces who didn't know me and letting it roll off my back. I didn't look so hot for awhile.
Getting my mouth unwired and hearing my voice for the first time in 6 weeks. Seeing the tears of joy in my mother's eyes as she heard my voice for the first time as well.
Two of my best friends, Christy and Kate, visiting me and watching me eat a soft cookie for the very first food I had eaten since the accident (after my mouth was unwired)
Going to Christmas Eve service with my family even though I was exhausted. Crying at the beauty of the song O Come, O Come Emmanuel and feeling humbled that I should get to sing it.
Sitting on the couch Christmas day.Before this I couldn't transfer myself from my wheelchair to any other chairs. My dad had to lift me to the couch.
Sneaking myself and my wheelchair into my bedroom. Later my dad moved my dressers out of the doorway so I could get in and out.
Maneuvering around the kitchen one afternoon unloading the dishwasher to prove to myself that I could do something small and useful.
Using the sink in my bathroom to practice standing before anyone told me I could get out of my wheelchair.
Walking for the first time.
Saying goodbye to the hospital bed/ makeshift hospital room in our house and finally moving into my bedroom.
Learning to walk around the house with a walker.
Learning to walk around the house without the balance of a walker.
Never having to use a cane. I just couldn’t bring myself to allow that to happen.
Learning to walk up and down stairs.
Learning to bounce on a trampoline.
Wearing normal shoes when the swelling went down enough.
The sores on my legs from the swelling healing, finally.
Going to bed without needing to keep the walker by my bedside.
Waking up and being able to take medicine on my own during the night.
Learning to pray for my friends around the world when the pain kept me up at night.
Praying in battle with my mom and dad every night.
Getting rid of that dumb walker.
Sharing my story of God's work with different churches and youth.
Going to therapy 3 times a week for several hours each session. Making my body my slave each time.
Going to the Hispanic ministry at church every Wednesday and Sunday to learn Spanish.
One Sunday telling my mom I didn't want to go to church or to the Spanish service. She told me if I didn't care enough about learning Spanish I should reconsider if I should really be doing the job I was working to go and do. I sat in my bathroom. Pouted and cried. Then told myself to suck it up and rolled out in my little wheelchair to go to church and to learn Spanish. Victory.
Losing tons of my hair and reminding myself it was a good thing God gave me thick hair.
Finishing some training in VA in March. My first big trip on my own in the airport and all.
Walking around Walmart for about 45 minutes.
Driving for the first time.
Being able to sleep on my belly.
Going to the farm with Dad.
Going to Spain only to get stuck because of a volcano in Munich.
Arriving 5 days later in Spain.
Facing the walking and stairs every day in Spain.
Living with cankles and telling myself that they are cute.
Feeling like I lost my personality in the pain and then realizing who I am is in Christ alone.
Crying out to God and Him answering me.
Hearing people pray for me in moments of despair and God lifting the pain in those moments.
In moments when my legs were too tired to go on feeling someone step into my legs and walk for me.
Having the ability to share God loves with my therapists in Spain. I would not have access to them without my injuries.
Accepting that God's victories and how he has used me these past several months has been about him. Not about me.
Learning perseverance.
Learning patience.
Realizing I'm not alone in a battle like this.
Knowing that I can rest in where God has me even though Satan would like me to put more pressure on myself than necessary.
Gaining a platform that is suffering that allows me to speak into people's lives. Somehow we listen better to those who have hurt.
Running and it hurting like you know what. But doing it anyways.
Seeing that God's reign is not limited by any schemes of the devil in which he would have us be discouraged and believe that God has left us.
He who has begun a good work in me will finish it. AMEN!
I know I have so many more victories than this. This list skims over a few that I have seen and remember. Somehow it feels good to reflect on God's faithfulness within each and every victory. However small or large. I fall at the feet of the victorious king I will always worship.
Standing (literally and figuratively) in His Victory,
Taryn
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)