Abandoned

"I'm sorry. You just missed your flight by 3 minutes," The man at the gate for my flight from Munich to Madrid informed me Friday morning around 11:30. I began thinking if only I could've run to my gate, I wouldn't have missed it! But then again, I can't change that. My legs are swollen and even if they hadn't been I can't run yet. He then directed to me the service counter. I got there and stood in line for 2.5 hours to find out that I couldn't get a flight until 9 am Saturday morning, because of the issues with the volcanic ash in the air. I then discover there is an evening flight to Madrid, and wait in the terminal until boarding time only to find that it too was full. On top of that I was told the 9 am flight I had was also cancelled so I got another one for 2:45 pm Saturday. I'm wandering around the airport trying to find free internet (buying 30 minutes of internet was 10 euros, and 3 days worth was 30 euros... neither one would have been super helpful). I find a computer set up with free internet and spend most of my time emailing back forth with my team and my parents informing them of my desperate situation.

I am so defeated and my legs have swollen more than they have in several weeks. I knew they would swell, but didn't know they would this much. My parents are emailing me telling me that I need to get a hotel, but there aren't any. I'm one of thousands of people stranded all over, and hotels had been booked since that morning. I had been praying all day that I wouldn't have difficulties. I had been praying in Jesus' name believing His Word when it tells us there's power in His name. I leave the terminal upset like so many others but trying to hold back my tears. I give myself the "you're a 24 year old adult" pep talk, but that didn't help me from feeling so abandoned by God. Especially with the recent trials He has allowed me to go through. Why did I have to go through one more thing? Couldn't something as simple as getting to Madrid be easy!? With the news pouring in about the volcanic activity I begin to realize I could be stuck in Munich for days!

I receive info that they are putting people on cots in hall F in the airport. I then inform everyone via email where I'd be, and I'd do my best to keep them updated. It was a fairly long walk to hall F, and I found a cot next to a family who looked safe enough. I sat down on the cot trying to not cry and putting my swollen feet up. I then started wrestling with God. Below is my journal entry from that night:

The wind has been knocked out of me one too many times. God, what do you want of me? I've given it all- I've been banged up, and I'm still obeying. I need you. I need to feel you around me. Please don't let my prayers be empty and fall flat. I know I can trust it's just hard when I've had disappointment after disappointment today. I'm exhausted and sick. Did I come too soon? Do you not want me to go? Would you have the evil one mock me some more? Please let my flight leave tomorrow. Please! Desperation takes over. Protect me while I rest in this terminal. Please let it be safe. Hold me together. Don't leave me behind. Don't forsake me. Put a hedge of protection around me.

Yours, Taryn

After feeling so much desperation and feeling as though God had not once heard me, I prayed for forgiveness for my disbelief. It's hard for us in those moments when He allows us to be tested. I remember also praying that God's word says He doesn't give us more than we can handle. I remember thinking that I was at the end of my rope. I couldn't handle anymore. As soon as I asked for forgiveness I closed my eyes. Not 5 minutes later a man woke me up asking, "Are you Kara or Karen Locker?"

I said, "No! But I'm Taryn Blocker!"
I knew that this man HAD to be looking for me because the name he asked for was so close to my name! He then introduced himself as Dave Pettis, a pastor for an international church in Munich. His wife quickly came over and introduced herself, Kandy. They inform me that somehow my team members in Madrid had gotten in contact with them telling them I was stranded at the airport. They picked up their things, called their friend, Bianca, whose husband works for the airport, and came to look for me! They had been waking up every female on the cots trying to find me! If they hadn't called their friend Bianca, they wouldn't have known where the airport had been setting up cots for the stranded people. I had a rescue team of four: Dave and Kandy Pettis along with Bianca Godfrey and her son Muna!

Now, I would NEVER leave anywhere with strangers, but the Spirit gave me such a peace that I hopped up and quickly gathered my things. From Friday night until Tuesday evening I stayed with the Pettis'. They were gracious enough to let me stay as long as I needed and even showed me around, so I was able to see outside of Munich. Bianca's husband, George, was stuck in Spain and had to quickly get transportation to the Munich airport. When things finally cleared up George got me a plain ticket to Barcelona. He met us at the airport with my boarding pass, walked me through security to my gate, and made sure I was good to get on the flight. His family was also believers and were dear friends of the Pettis' and part of the international church Dave pastored.

Amazingly enough the Pettis' had just returned to Germany the Wednesday before I was stranded after being gone for 18 months in the states. Amazingly enough the Pettis' had these wonderful friends the Godfreys who were able to help find me and get me on my way. I had the opportunity to be around them several times during my stay with the Pettis' and both families found a special place in my heart. For not knowing them for very long they felt like family!

Another amazing part of the story is how the Pettis' were contacted. My teammates Gary and Julie Clifton were trying to think if they knew of anyone in Munich. Julie contacted a lady who she had been on assignment with at one time when she was in Germany and the lady knew that the Pettis' had just returned to Germany.

After feeling so abandoned by God and left for Satan to mock me some more in the midst of yet another bump in the road, I found that in fact I wasn't abandoned at all. God had perfectly timed these events for a beat up Journeygirl who finally was getting to go to Spain to be blessed by her spiritual family in Germany. I don't know why I had to go through that, and the doubts that Satan placed in my head were strong. I do know one thing though, God proved that when we pray in His name there is in fact power, and He does hear us. These past 5 months have been more than I would hope for anyone to endure, but God has been with me every step of the way. I'm now in Madrid and settling in. Brook's visa is ready and she should be back soon.

I am completely at peace here and don't know how to explain these things except that God is in control. He uses the bad for His good. I must continue to follow in spite of the difficulties. I hope this story of what happened recently encourages you like it did me. I was never abandoned and neither are you. Planning on posting pictures soon!

Prayers Request:
Legs still swollen and have some pain
For Brook's safe arrival back into Spain
That the work of God will be evident among Latinos in Spain

Never abandoned,
Taryn

Ticketed

Sorry I haven't put up on the blog that I officially have my plane tickets for Madrid! I leave this Thursday (the 15th) around 2:30 pm. I then fly to Chicago to Munich to Madrid. I'll arrive in Madrid around 6 am Arkansas time and 2 pm Madrid time. Unfortunately Brook and I will miss each other. She has a flight that leaves around 11 am... only three hours before I get there! You can imagine our disappointment, but we once again keep our chins up despite having more time apart. Julie Clifton and Brook (along with others) have worked very hard to get Brook and me an apartment and now we have one! I'm not sure if I'll be moving into the apartment right away or not, but I'm sure I'll be posting pics very soon.

I have had quite a bit of reflecting time this past week as I look forward to the work ahead. I am so thankful I am finally going. My desire is to do what God has called me to do, proclaim His name among the nations. Many people have given me words of encouragement and on the front end of everything some people brought to light some things about Jesus beginning his ministry. They gave the insight that before Jesus began his ministry he spent 40 days in the desert fasting (Matthew 4). After these 40 days in the desert he was tempted by Satan. He was tempted by his flesh crying out for food while Satan told Jesus to turn the stones into bread, Satan offered Jesus the world if only he'd bow down to the king of darkness. Jesus fought these temptations with the Word of God. Our daily Bread. I figure if Jesus was in the desert for 40 days fasting before beginning his work for the Father, then I probably needed even more than 40 days to prepare for the ministry I'll be a part of in Spain. I probably need even longer, but God is gracious to send me on anyways.

Pray for me. Pray that I remain in harmony with the Spirit and that I walk boldly with the Father. Pray that Satan's strongholds among people are broken and that hearts are open to the Bread of Life. Satan does not want to see God's victory, but we are desperate for it and pray for it. Pray that I resist temptation as Christ did and that I rebuke the king of lies with the Word of Truth. I'm nervous at times because I wonder if I'll even be of any use in Spain, but I know these thoughts are lies. I know that it's not even me doing the work, I just get to be a part of it. I look forward to updating you all from across the Atlantic. Your prayers are felt.

In Him,
Taryn

The Day I've Been Waiting For

Two precious, important words: medical release! Yesterday when I went to my doctor he gave me my medical release, and today my employer gave my the final medical release that I need to go to Spain! The past few days have been full of ups and downs. It's been a whirlwind as I've anticipated this release and only a few weeks ago received my visa. Everything has been merging together for this final go ahead. I am overwhelmed and excited. I'm almost at a loss because I've waited for almost 5 months for this day and here it is. I may be in Spain as early as the end of next week!

Pray for the day that I leave... I'll let everyone know when I get my ticket so you can pray specifically. Another thing that has recently happened is that Brook must return stateside to wait on her visa to be processed. Please pray that it's processed quickly, so that she can return to Spain to be with me! This entire journey has been a challenge for both of us and more than anything we just want to be together doing the job we signed up for last June. We don't know why God has allowed for our path to go the way it has gone, but we trust Him and keep moving forward. Please pray for the team members who have been looking for an apartment for Brook and me (she has been in temporary living since she arrived back in January). Pray that these details come together for when I get there and for when Brook returns. Brook and I may actually pass each other over the Atlantic. We are hoping our time frame overlaps a little so we can see each other before being apart again. Continuing to pray that God moves in a mighty way, so her visa is ready for her to pick up (unlike how I could mail my passport in, the consulate now requires an in person pick up of the visa).

These are the new details, and I'm starting to pack! Please continue to lift up my legs as they continue to heal and swell. That's just what going to be normal for awhile because of the severity of my injuries. Thankfully for now, I don't have to see any more dentist for complications from my jaw break. There are possible surgeries way in the future, but I'm trying to not worry about those now. Okay, sorry if this update was a bit scattered! I'm just excited/nervous about it all!

In Him,
Taryn

Eye Level

Time has gone by quickly. It wasn't too long ago that I was in a wheelchair and still very weak. Because I'm so close to "normal" I so easily forget the difficulties of what has now past. I still have some difficulties as I deal with patience and the disappointment of watching my 2 year term fly by me while I'm home recovering. God has gently reminded me of how much he spared me from, and it challenges me to think, as it always does, how faithful I would be to the Father if things had been different.

Almost 3 weeks after my accident, after I had been released from the hospital, we had to take me back to the doctors' offices for checkups. At this point I was still very week, with little to no mobility. It was a challenge to transfer me from my wheelchair to the car and back to the wheelchair again once we arrived at the office. My energy was very low, and everything in my head was still fuzzy from the medicine and from hitting my head so hard. As we arrived at this particular office, we rolled through the first floor. This was the area where people were getting prescriptions and it was overcrowded. As we waited for the elevator my mom had me parked in one spot. Oblivious to everything around me, a man in a wheelchair began talking to me. It was apparent to him that I had recently been in an accident because of the burns and bruises on my face and arms and how both of my legs were wrapped up and splinted. He looked over and said, "You know, years ago they told me I would only live a few years at the most after my accident. That's been 29 years ago, and I'm still going strong."

I didn't even have a chance to respond or process what he said before my mom commented back that his story was amazing and encouraging to hear. The thing is, he didn't know whether I was going to be able to walk again. All he knew was that he saw a sad girl who had been knocked around in an accident, so he offered up some encouragement. My mom later told me that he probably was talking to me because I was approachable. Everyday he lives his life at a different eye level from the rest of the world. Being in a wheelchair myself, I was at his eye level. I was approachable because I was like him.

Being in a wheelchair for 7 weeks before I even stood, and then in it for awhile longer because of lack of strength and balance, I understand what it's like to be on a different level from everyone else. It's easier to ignore people or not even engage in the world around you. You miss looking at people in the eyes, and they miss looking at you in the eyes as you pass them by. This man reminded me of this, and he also reminds me of the ways in which God sustains us. For this man he wasn't able to walk again, but God sustained his life. For me God granted that I have been able to walk again along with sustaining my life.

As I continue to face my heartache of not being in Spain yet, I know God calls me to patience and trust. I hope for a release soon, but I constantly face realities of things that are still a challenge physically. I am certain that God has called me to this job in Spain, and I am certain that I am still supposed to go. The rest, I'm not so certain of, but know this... God is the same and he is consistent. I rest on a regular basis in the fact that when he called me to this job, he knew this accident would happen. That being said I am required to continue to wait on the Lord. Maybe He just needed me to be on a different eye level for awhile, so I could have a deeper understanding of who He is.

I'll see the doctor Monday to see if I'm ready to be released. Recently my visa was ready, so I have that in my passport now. I'm ready to leave whenever the doctor says so and whenever the IMB releases me as well. Pray for God's timing and that I trust him no matter what. Please let me know how I can pray for you.

Following Him,
Taryn