I couldn't help it. Often times I can't stop myself. So I put my head down and cried. I was in the midst of eating lunch today, and I couldn't hold it in any longer. This has also been a regular occurrence as I ride the bus or metro. My thoughts catch up with me and the reality sets it. What reality you may ask?
Recently I have been reading a book called "Safely Home" by Randy Alcorn. This book discusses persecution of Christians in one particular country. It makes my heart so heavy, I cannot even describe it. My heart is heavy not because these people are believers, but it is heavy for the ones who won't get to hear the truth because of where they live. In the land of the free and the home of the brave, we don't encounter this type of persecution. Meeting in the middle of the night for church. Not owning a Bible. Fear and knowing that just by saying you follow Jesus it could end your life. We know nothing of this.
What overwhelms me even more is that I live somewhere where the Gospel can be shared, but people's hearts are so hard. I pray and pray pleading for God to soften the hearts of those around me. Someone will catch my eye and I am urged to pray for them. I think of my friends around the world who are in difficult areas, and my heart aches for them and the people they are sharing truth with. Let our hearts be burdened for the lost and let us intercede.
With the tears that fall, I pray that there is equal action on my part. Action of sharing boldly. Action of praying. Action of giving so that more people can be sent to the nations. I have several people in my heart right now that I DEEPLY desire to see in eternity. Their faces play like a filmstrip in my head over and over again. It hurts to imagine that they may not be there even if I tell them the truth. Free will. We get to choose and follow Christ. Or we get to reject him and go our own way.
I have friends and family who do not believe as I believe. I know there are nations upon nations that believe Christianity is only a Western religion. Because of the misconceptions I pray that these barriers come down. Not that people believe as I believe because I'm not the point, but that they follow Christ. If you don't know what you believe and are looking for answers... seek them out. Look at books from those who at one time did not believe in Christ. Their journeys are fascinating as God gently (or sometimes more firmly) leads them to him. There is a God. He loves us. We just have to choose him. In parts of the world where we can choose whatever we want, I hope you choose to at least consider the options.
As for those in parts of the world that do not get to choose whatever they want, pray for revelations from God to rain down on the people. That his word spreads and cannot be stopped. That lives are saved and changed. How amazing will it be to hug brothers and sisters in Christ that we never knew by name this side of heaven, but that we interceded for?
I have a friend here whose parents are serving in East Asia. Her parents recently went to the funeral of a man who was a new believer and follower of Jesus. He was the first man of that entire village to enter into eternity into the arms of Christ. Let us rejoice in this. Let this sober us and put us into action to realize that there are so many places that have yet to hear. I pray not that my tears cease, but that they continue so that this fire in me to share about my Christ never stops. I pray for a deep movement in your souls as well. Let us not celebrate Christmas unless we know why we are celebrating it.
In Him,
Taryn
Friday, December 17, 2010
Sunday, December 12, 2010
December Update
Out for an evening of Christmas lights around Plaza del Sol!Doesn't Seem Fair
Lately my heart has been heavy for the lost before me. My heart aches as I realize not only are there many people who are lost, but no one is going and telling them they are lost. For this reason it just doesn’t seem fair for us to celebrate Christmas without thought about those who do not celebrate this holiday.
I’m not talking about the gifts, the Christmas tree, lights, or stockings. I’m talking about a celebration that we are no longer slaves to our sin. The King of kings was born as our Emmanuel and gave us the only way to escape death.
Here are some sobering facts that I recently heard at a meeting I had. The population of the Americas alone is 557,438,591. Of this population 63,381,911 are evangelized. That makes 11.37% evangelized but this includes those who still practice their faith with some syncretism.
In the Americas alone there are 1,025 people groups. People groups are defined by culture, language, and location among some other factors. This is not merely nationality. The number of unreached people groups is 690. The unreached, unengaged people groups is 462. The unreached, unengaged, uncontacted people groups is 38. I hate to tell you, but the numbers among the Americas peoples are a lot better than the ones of other areas of the world.
That’s a lot of people not celebrating the birth of my Savior. That’s a lot of people who don’t know who Christ is and how he can change their lives.
Doesn’t seem fair when my eternity is certain, and theirs is yet to be determined. Let us be proactive. Let us consider opportunities such as the Lottie Moon Christmas offering. This allows for missionaries to be sent all over the world proclaiming truth. Please pray how God would have you be involved in missions. If you have any questions about Lottie Moon please ask me! Your contribution through this offering allows me to be here.
A Daughter of the King
Recently I made a friend. I was around her for one evening, but she has impacted me for a lifetime. She is brilliant, full of life, and hungry for freedom. She is from a part of the world where freedom isn’t available whenever you want it. She doesn’t want to remain there, but she has no choice.
In this country, the Gospel is not welcomed. My friends and I were able to share with her about the Bible in a short time, but my heart aches and I pray for her often because she had to leave and return to her home.
She is seeking out God, but has yet to seek out Christ. I ask God so many times, “Who will go and tell her? Who will follow up and continue intentional conversations about your Son?”
It would be crazy indeed to go to this country as a Christian. But my heart says it would be crazy to deny someone who is a daughter of the King. How can I deny her access to Truth? How can I tell her she doesn’t get to hear about the One we serve? The One who has given us freedom!
When we put it like that, it changes things. You see, it is evident that God is working in her life. I felt, along with my friends, that God’s hand is in her life , and he is moving. Pray for my friend with me. Pray that she becomes of daughter of the King and a follower of Christ. I hope I get to see her again in this world, but I hope even more to embrace her in eternity and to call her sister.
Pray that somehow Truth comes to her. Pray that someone can share more with her.
Prayer Requests
Leg pain– it really is minimal, but walking makes them hurt and with the cooler weather they ache quite a bit more
Julie and Gary Clifton as they go on their stateside assignment
For more relationships with Latinos in the coming months before Brook and I go on trips to Italy and Germany in the spring
For my friend in another country
Praises!
Continued therapy
Continued relationship building
As always let me know how you are or any prayer requests! It's encouraging to know what's going on in your world. Or even say hi. It's encouraging to know that you are remembered even if you live on the other side of the world!
In Him,
Taryn
Sunday, November 21, 2010
A Year of Swollen Legs
A year ago, Sunday, November 22nd, I was on my way to share at some teammate’s church outside of Richmond, VA about the Lottie Moon Christmas offering. It is the offering that allows for there to be over 5,000 missionaries around the world with the IMB. As I was walking to the car, one of the kids at the training center asked me where I was going and told me she liked my dress. It was a dark blue satin dress with white swirls along the hem of the dress. I was also wearing my favorite black high heels with some earrings that were a gift from my Papa Bob. I had curled my hair. I told her I’d be back after lunch and that I’d come back to find her, so we could play together that afternoon. I didn’t make it back to see her though.
The big one year mark. Something about anniversaries seem to capture us whether they are good or bad ones. Today is my one year anniversary of my car accident. I feel a little emotional (well a lot) and a little overwhelmed (also a lot- if I’m being honest) as I look back over this past year. A year ago I was so ready to go to Spain. During training we would talk about Paul and whether or not he went to Spain and my heart would ache as would beg the Lord that I’d go. I’d almost be in tears as I thought about something happening to not let me go. I would quickly dismiss my thoughts and tell myself to stop being paranoid. But something did happen that did it’s best to keep me from going.
I haven’t made it this far without strong reminders of what happened a year ago. I have light scarring on my face from where glass had cut me. My chin slightly sticks out more than usual because of the metal plate that helped stabilize my once broken jaw. Where the jaw bone was broken slightly sticks out on my chin line. One side of my mouth is still numb and drags a little bit if you know to look for it. My teeth are slightly discolored from the apparatus that was in my mouth for 6 weeks while it was wired shut. My knees are scarred as are a few other parts of my legs from the surgeries and the placement of pins and nails. Parts of my legs are still numb from possible permanent nerve damage. My right calf still has a bruise and several muscles remain hard and injured even after a year. My legs and ankles still swell and have more or less been swollen for a year now (and will be for a bit longer). Even though my pain level has gotten better, I still ache or have nights where I can’t get comfortable because of my muscles or bones. I am regularly stiff. The old ladies in the metro are faster than me going down the stairs (what a blow to the ego). As of now I still do not have the ability to get down on my knees and pray because it hurts too much. And my Bible is still stained with my blood.
Some of the things I’ve mentioned are vanity or things that will continue to improve. They are the things I notice and no one can see them. I’m quite the perfectionist so some of these things have left me in tears at times as I’ve obsessed over them. Something though about my blood stained Bible brings me back to the important things. The things that matter. The things that cost us something.
The Gospel costs something. The good news is that a sacrifice has been made for us and freedom is within our reach only through our Savior. I will fight until the day I die for this Gospel. I pray that I walk in a righteous manner so that I can continue to share it. I pray that I don’t get distracted by this world. There have been things in my short 25 years that God has asked me to walk away from, and I have. Some things took more time than others and sometimes because I didn’t immediately obey. I paid the price for that lack of obedience.
But the thing is that my heart is his. I can’t deny how he has changed my heart. I can’t deny the hope he’s given me. To deny this is to deny my existence, and I just can’t bring myself to do that. No matter the heartache. Awhile back I was in my car talking to God. And I told him that if he just tells me what he wants me to do, I’ll do it. So here I am. An accident didn’t change what he told me to do. It just meant I had to fight harder to follow him. I can’t walk away from this. Some may think I’m a fool. Some may question how I can still follow a God who has allowed for these “bad” things to happen.
I’ll still follow him because he is good. In reality no matter how good of a person I am, I’m still at fault, and I still do wrong. These trials are not meant to push us away from him but to draw us near if only we’d let it. The other night I was reading in my journal kind of wondering to myself “what was I thinking a year ago before this happened?” Little did I know and strangely enough, I had already made up my mind about how I was going to deal with this trial.
Journal excerpt October, 21, 2009
Make me fall more and more in love with you, so that everything else around me fades away until I can no longer see it. I hate to ask for it, but make me experience sacrifice. I must forsake all things to show my love for you and that you’re the one I follow…
Journal excerpt October 22, 2009
Make yourself real to me. Let me experience you in a way as never before. I pray I am always subject to you always. Please let me have a peace in the midst of the trials ahead…
I didn’t remember writing those things until I looked back at them a few days ago, and I was blown away. And I struggled through those things as well. Was this really the way I needed to learn whatever it is that I need to learn? Why like this? Other people get to learn these lessons in a seemingly less painful way… right? The questions go on and go, and many times I have to fight to silence them in my head.
I don’t have the answer for these things, honestly. And unless I hear the answer from God, there’s not an answer anyone on this earth can give me that’s sufficient. Not because opinions and godly counsel don’t matter, it’s just something that I’m dealing with God about (more like what he’s dealing with me about). I fear that when people (myself included) try to put a value on it all or pinpoint exactly the “why” we lose the value of what God may want to show. So here I stand. I stand ready for the answer while realizing this side of heaven I may never know. I stand ready to serve because I can’t imagine my life any other way. I stand broken because God uses the broken to do his work. But I stand. I’m his. He loves me despite the wrestling I do. He loves me even though I cry out to him “why” all of the time. He is patient and longsuffering.
I’ve done a lot of soul searching and asking as this day has approached. I have questioned and demanded answers from the people that were there the night of the wreck at the hospital (they have been kind enough to entertain my curiosity). I have asked them what happened, what they knew, what I said to them in the following days. I’ve learned some things and even a year later have remembered things that were lost in the midst of a fog of pain and medicines. It’s also shed some light on the way in which the Holy Spirit seemingly took over and gave me the grace to treat the people around me kindly.
I’m learning what it means to look at what I’ve been through and to say, okay God… you are worth this. Because last time I checked this little incident cost me a lot and it will continue to cost me. So it’s hard. Without the Holy Spirit I can’t do this. So I stay awake at night trying to figure out how God is at work and how I continue to be in the midst of that. Not easy to do, but I don’t know any other way to walk through this than with him. To walk this alone would make me a fool. Thank you for those of you who have shared trials in your life with me. They remind me that I’m not alone and I’m not the first one to walk down a difficult path. Your stories challenge me and encourage me. Thank you for walking righteously. If anyone else has a story they’d like to share, please send me an email (taryneb@yahoo.com) Through you I am reminded that we are never alone. Thanks for your prayers over this past year and please keep them coming! They are a blessing and help in more ways than you or I know.
In Him,
Taryn
The big one year mark. Something about anniversaries seem to capture us whether they are good or bad ones. Today is my one year anniversary of my car accident. I feel a little emotional (well a lot) and a little overwhelmed (also a lot- if I’m being honest) as I look back over this past year. A year ago I was so ready to go to Spain. During training we would talk about Paul and whether or not he went to Spain and my heart would ache as would beg the Lord that I’d go. I’d almost be in tears as I thought about something happening to not let me go. I would quickly dismiss my thoughts and tell myself to stop being paranoid. But something did happen that did it’s best to keep me from going.
I haven’t made it this far without strong reminders of what happened a year ago. I have light scarring on my face from where glass had cut me. My chin slightly sticks out more than usual because of the metal plate that helped stabilize my once broken jaw. Where the jaw bone was broken slightly sticks out on my chin line. One side of my mouth is still numb and drags a little bit if you know to look for it. My teeth are slightly discolored from the apparatus that was in my mouth for 6 weeks while it was wired shut. My knees are scarred as are a few other parts of my legs from the surgeries and the placement of pins and nails. Parts of my legs are still numb from possible permanent nerve damage. My right calf still has a bruise and several muscles remain hard and injured even after a year. My legs and ankles still swell and have more or less been swollen for a year now (and will be for a bit longer). Even though my pain level has gotten better, I still ache or have nights where I can’t get comfortable because of my muscles or bones. I am regularly stiff. The old ladies in the metro are faster than me going down the stairs (what a blow to the ego). As of now I still do not have the ability to get down on my knees and pray because it hurts too much. And my Bible is still stained with my blood.
Some of the things I’ve mentioned are vanity or things that will continue to improve. They are the things I notice and no one can see them. I’m quite the perfectionist so some of these things have left me in tears at times as I’ve obsessed over them. Something though about my blood stained Bible brings me back to the important things. The things that matter. The things that cost us something.
The Gospel costs something. The good news is that a sacrifice has been made for us and freedom is within our reach only through our Savior. I will fight until the day I die for this Gospel. I pray that I walk in a righteous manner so that I can continue to share it. I pray that I don’t get distracted by this world. There have been things in my short 25 years that God has asked me to walk away from, and I have. Some things took more time than others and sometimes because I didn’t immediately obey. I paid the price for that lack of obedience.
But the thing is that my heart is his. I can’t deny how he has changed my heart. I can’t deny the hope he’s given me. To deny this is to deny my existence, and I just can’t bring myself to do that. No matter the heartache. Awhile back I was in my car talking to God. And I told him that if he just tells me what he wants me to do, I’ll do it. So here I am. An accident didn’t change what he told me to do. It just meant I had to fight harder to follow him. I can’t walk away from this. Some may think I’m a fool. Some may question how I can still follow a God who has allowed for these “bad” things to happen.
I’ll still follow him because he is good. In reality no matter how good of a person I am, I’m still at fault, and I still do wrong. These trials are not meant to push us away from him but to draw us near if only we’d let it. The other night I was reading in my journal kind of wondering to myself “what was I thinking a year ago before this happened?” Little did I know and strangely enough, I had already made up my mind about how I was going to deal with this trial.
Journal excerpt October, 21, 2009
Make me fall more and more in love with you, so that everything else around me fades away until I can no longer see it. I hate to ask for it, but make me experience sacrifice. I must forsake all things to show my love for you and that you’re the one I follow…
Journal excerpt October 22, 2009
Make yourself real to me. Let me experience you in a way as never before. I pray I am always subject to you always. Please let me have a peace in the midst of the trials ahead…
I didn’t remember writing those things until I looked back at them a few days ago, and I was blown away. And I struggled through those things as well. Was this really the way I needed to learn whatever it is that I need to learn? Why like this? Other people get to learn these lessons in a seemingly less painful way… right? The questions go on and go, and many times I have to fight to silence them in my head.
I don’t have the answer for these things, honestly. And unless I hear the answer from God, there’s not an answer anyone on this earth can give me that’s sufficient. Not because opinions and godly counsel don’t matter, it’s just something that I’m dealing with God about (more like what he’s dealing with me about). I fear that when people (myself included) try to put a value on it all or pinpoint exactly the “why” we lose the value of what God may want to show. So here I stand. I stand ready for the answer while realizing this side of heaven I may never know. I stand ready to serve because I can’t imagine my life any other way. I stand broken because God uses the broken to do his work. But I stand. I’m his. He loves me despite the wrestling I do. He loves me even though I cry out to him “why” all of the time. He is patient and longsuffering.
I’ve done a lot of soul searching and asking as this day has approached. I have questioned and demanded answers from the people that were there the night of the wreck at the hospital (they have been kind enough to entertain my curiosity). I have asked them what happened, what they knew, what I said to them in the following days. I’ve learned some things and even a year later have remembered things that were lost in the midst of a fog of pain and medicines. It’s also shed some light on the way in which the Holy Spirit seemingly took over and gave me the grace to treat the people around me kindly.
I’m learning what it means to look at what I’ve been through and to say, okay God… you are worth this. Because last time I checked this little incident cost me a lot and it will continue to cost me. So it’s hard. Without the Holy Spirit I can’t do this. So I stay awake at night trying to figure out how God is at work and how I continue to be in the midst of that. Not easy to do, but I don’t know any other way to walk through this than with him. To walk this alone would make me a fool. Thank you for those of you who have shared trials in your life with me. They remind me that I’m not alone and I’m not the first one to walk down a difficult path. Your stories challenge me and encourage me. Thank you for walking righteously. If anyone else has a story they’d like to share, please send me an email (taryneb@yahoo.com) Through you I am reminded that we are never alone. Thanks for your prayers over this past year and please keep them coming! They are a blessing and help in more ways than you or I know.
In Him,
Taryn
Saturday, November 13, 2010
Valencia Trip Photos
Brook and I went on a trip to scope things out in Valencia, Spain that past August. Here are some pictures from the trip. Enjoy!
Where I lived for 22 days!
It's supposed to be a woman with earings
Market at night
Paella!
Towers of the old city walls
Brazilian black beans- so good!
Sea food
Important part of the day- snack :)
Old river bed turned into a huge park that winds through the city
One of the bridges-Alameda
Famous Valencia Market
Plaza
Fountain in a plaza
Cathedral
Best paella!
Valencia metro
Metro stop with palm trees
Snack of champions
Beautiful park
Cool old building
Bull Ring and train station
Center of city
First trip!Sunday, November 7, 2010
November Update
Puppet show in a park– Gary and Julie Clifton have mobilized some Latino believers to use this as a way to share the Gospel at parks where Latinos gather- their little boy, Matthew, sticks out a little!
Two Angels
Brook and I met Y, an Ecuadorian immigrant from Madrid, in the metro in Valencia back in August. She was there with her husband and daughter visiting a friend because her world was falling apart. Little did I know when I struck up a conversation with her, that God was using me as a messenger.
We exchanged numbers but were not able to meet up until October because of her work schedule. I knew she must’ve been desperate for friends if she was willing to meet up with and English speaker who could barely understand her over the phone (phone conversations are the worst for language!). She kept saying she just needed someone to talk to.
Finally we found a time to meet up. Brook and Carmen went with me. The huge blessing about Carmen is that her first language is Spanish and her and her husband are the church planting part of the team in Madrid. They’ve been doing ministry for about 50 years, so they know what they are doing!
Y shared with us all of the things that are going on in her life… her and her husband are separated because he is with another woman, and she has no friends here. She said that things were really bad when she was in Valencia, but that Brook and I were like two angels that day when we met her. She said she later asked her friend if she thought we’d actually call her when we were back in Madrid, and her friend told her yes.
Y has started coming to a woman’s Bible study at Pablo and Carmen’s, and she seems so hungry for the truth. Pray for her. Pray that if there’s any hope that God will repair her marriage. Pray for her little girl G who’s 5 years old.
As I help blaze the trail, it’s encouraging to see that God is using me. His Spirit is at work here in Spain, so please keep the prayers coming for the work going on!
Our Excess
I’m fairly certain with how the economy has been the last few years that everyone is feeling the effects. Saving has dropped down and things are tighter than usual.
With the difficult time financially all have suffered and the number of missionaries being sent to the nations has also dropped. The reality seems to be in front of me anytime I have meetings. I hear how the IMB is being even more strategic with where they send people. Some ministries have had to drastically change and other ministries suffer because the work cannot get done with fewer personnel.
I would challenge you with the Lottie Moon Christmas offering coming up to consider your excess. You may not have any excess, but God doesn’t call us to give out of our excess. He calls us to give sacrificially. Sacrifice hurts. It costs us something. I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately because this completely applies to me as well.
Am I willing to give to the point where it hurts a little? Am I willing to sacrifice my “wants” so that the nations can hear the most important words about life? Am I willing to ask God how much he wants me to give and trust that no matter the amount, he will provide?
These things lay heavy on my heart as I reflect on how blessed I am to be here part of this work. I’m here because of you and your giving. The IMB didn’t send me. You did. Thank you!
Prayer Requests
Continued healing for legs– stairs are finally getting easier!
Continued research on Germany and Italy– hopefully a trip will be made there in the coming months (January or February)
Bible study group that has begun at the Pachalian’s house (Pablo and Carmen)
For friends Brook and I’ve made for my physical therapist who I spend an hour with everyday– that she responds to Truth
Praises
Continued therapy
Brook had a successful trip and London! We were glad to see each other after 5 weeks apart!
Y’s open heart to God’s word
Please let me know your prayer requests or say hello!
Send me pics of family or grandkids– let me know your holiday plans. I just like being connected to home :)
In Him,
Taryn
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Reason Enough?
I was in the hospital bed set up in our home with tears streaming down my face. Tears seemed to be an often occurrence a year ago, and they haven't ceased much since then. This time my tears weren't because of anything but a desire for a reason. I was crying to my mom because I wanted to be doing my job, sharing NOT about religion BUT about the love that's available for us in Christ. Crying I said to my mom that I just needed for there to be someone, one day, that looked at me and said, "I met you so I could know this truth." She responded back that I may or may not ever hear that. It's not so much a need of it being all about me as much as knowing that you are on the right path that God has for you. When our world shatters into a million pieces, we search for the foundation. I needed that reason so badly.
A rapid fire conversation in Spanish and English was occurring as a middle age man told me about how much he really was enjoying life right now. He was by far, one of the liveliest Spaniards I've met, as he was sharing about things he was doing in life. Somehow the conversation turned to love, energy, and God. He quickly scribbled out on a piece of paper that love=energy=God. He said that he figured this was a really good way to explain life and looked at me for a response. Immediately I was aware of the opportunity before me. I gently shook my head and drew a different diagram. I put God at the top and then drew lines down to love and energy. The man appeared a little perplexed, so I continued to explain that things in this world must have an origin. The "big bang" (or whatever it was) has to come from somewhere. I told him that I was certain this somewhere was God. He seemed interested, so I continued on saying that I truly believed God made love and energy and all the things of this world. I went on also to explain that He desires a relationship with us, even though we are part of a world with bad things in it. I told him this path was through Christ as explained in the Bible.
Now in post-modern, post-Christian Europe, it's very common for the conversation to end here. Which is fully what I expected. But no, my God was at work in this man's heart. The man exclaimed how he saw that this could make sense, and then asked me where he should start reading in the Bible. He said he had never thought of it like this before, and that he wanted to learn more. I told him Matthew as I felt a little light headed at how positively he responded to what I had said. The Spanish man then asked if he needed anything else to read the Bible with. He had some Catholic background, so the Bible wasn't completely foreign to him. I told him that God was sufficient and that the Holy Spirit would help him understand things in the Bible. I was astounded.
He looked at me and then said, "This may sound weird, but I think I met you tonight just so that I'd start thinking about these things. I know that must sound very strange, and I don't mean it to. It's just that I believe these things happen."
I told him I believed these things happened for a reason as well. He just didn't know how big of a reason it was for me.
A friend of mine, B, is searching. He's searching but he hasn't the slightest clue what for. He thinks it's for a job, he thinks it's for love, but none of this fills the emptiness. I went over to hang out with him and some of his friends one evening. I arrived right before everyone else did (even though I made a point to be late, I was still the 1st there, I'm such an American!) I caught up with B on what had been going on in life and the emptiness in his eyes told me all I needed to know. He's lost.
About 5 minutes later more friends started to arrive and the lost look in his eyes were covered up with jokes he was making with friends and hearing about other people's work and life. But it was too late for me to be fooled. I had already seen the emptiness that humans are masters at covering up. B couldn't hide it without the distractions around him. Too many times I just assume people are fine because they appear like it's all together on the outside. You catch someone without the distractions and you see the truth.
I needed to share these things tonight as I am itching like crazy because of another allergic reaction and because I am so frustrated that I'm not better completely. I've been frustrated to the point of tears several times today (good thing mom's here!) I had to just stop and talk to God about it all. And He reminded me that He has me here for a reason and the thing that keeps me going is the emptiness in their eyes. A year ago I was looking for someone to validate me in that there's a reason for me to be here. God graciously gave me the answer I was looking for, and now has reminded me that I must remain here to keep proclaiming the truth. The work here is taking off and the attacks are getting stronger for the entire Diaspora team. Please be on your knees for us as we proclaim truth in a city full of people with emptiness in their eyes.
A rapid fire conversation in Spanish and English was occurring as a middle age man told me about how much he really was enjoying life right now. He was by far, one of the liveliest Spaniards I've met, as he was sharing about things he was doing in life. Somehow the conversation turned to love, energy, and God. He quickly scribbled out on a piece of paper that love=energy=God. He said that he figured this was a really good way to explain life and looked at me for a response. Immediately I was aware of the opportunity before me. I gently shook my head and drew a different diagram. I put God at the top and then drew lines down to love and energy. The man appeared a little perplexed, so I continued to explain that things in this world must have an origin. The "big bang" (or whatever it was) has to come from somewhere. I told him that I was certain this somewhere was God. He seemed interested, so I continued on saying that I truly believed God made love and energy and all the things of this world. I went on also to explain that He desires a relationship with us, even though we are part of a world with bad things in it. I told him this path was through Christ as explained in the Bible.
Now in post-modern, post-Christian Europe, it's very common for the conversation to end here. Which is fully what I expected. But no, my God was at work in this man's heart. The man exclaimed how he saw that this could make sense, and then asked me where he should start reading in the Bible. He said he had never thought of it like this before, and that he wanted to learn more. I told him Matthew as I felt a little light headed at how positively he responded to what I had said. The Spanish man then asked if he needed anything else to read the Bible with. He had some Catholic background, so the Bible wasn't completely foreign to him. I told him that God was sufficient and that the Holy Spirit would help him understand things in the Bible. I was astounded.
He looked at me and then said, "This may sound weird, but I think I met you tonight just so that I'd start thinking about these things. I know that must sound very strange, and I don't mean it to. It's just that I believe these things happen."
I told him I believed these things happened for a reason as well. He just didn't know how big of a reason it was for me.
A friend of mine, B, is searching. He's searching but he hasn't the slightest clue what for. He thinks it's for a job, he thinks it's for love, but none of this fills the emptiness. I went over to hang out with him and some of his friends one evening. I arrived right before everyone else did (even though I made a point to be late, I was still the 1st there, I'm such an American!) I caught up with B on what had been going on in life and the emptiness in his eyes told me all I needed to know. He's lost.
About 5 minutes later more friends started to arrive and the lost look in his eyes were covered up with jokes he was making with friends and hearing about other people's work and life. But it was too late for me to be fooled. I had already seen the emptiness that humans are masters at covering up. B couldn't hide it without the distractions around him. Too many times I just assume people are fine because they appear like it's all together on the outside. You catch someone without the distractions and you see the truth.
I needed to share these things tonight as I am itching like crazy because of another allergic reaction and because I am so frustrated that I'm not better completely. I've been frustrated to the point of tears several times today (good thing mom's here!) I had to just stop and talk to God about it all. And He reminded me that He has me here for a reason and the thing that keeps me going is the emptiness in their eyes. A year ago I was looking for someone to validate me in that there's a reason for me to be here. God graciously gave me the answer I was looking for, and now has reminded me that I must remain here to keep proclaiming the truth. The work here is taking off and the attacks are getting stronger for the entire Diaspora team. Please be on your knees for us as we proclaim truth in a city full of people with emptiness in their eyes.
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
October Update
One Year Anniversary
Well, here I am. One year ago I left Hot Springs to go to my training in Richmond to begin this journey. It’s been a journey I may have not picked out for myself (for several reasons), but God continues to show Himself to me in ways I can’t imagine. I believe it’s so important for us to reflect on the good God has done in our life, because often times we get so focused on the negative and forget the ways He’s been with us.
I look back and think of the times where I’ve doubted, but God provided. He provided that I kept this job, He provided that when I was stranded in Germany a couple came to the airport to find me so I could stay with them, and He’s provided that right now I don’t need surgery. We serve a big God. When I read the Old Testament I always get upset with the Israelites and their disbelief despite the miraculous things they saw. I challenge you (and myself) to not be like that, but to follow our God through the tough times.
This past month I have stayed in Madrid instead of going to London. My supervisor has been very flexible in letting me continue the therapy I’ve begun here. I am continuing with internet research on Latin Americans in Germany and Italy. I’m trying to narrow down the research to specific cities within those countries.
I did have the opportunity to go to a team meeting north of London this past week (the reason for the late newsletter). It’s exciting to get together with 13 other people to focus on the task at hand. The Americas Diaspora team is here to mobilize Latin Americans abroad to share the Gospel with people from their own culture and the culture they are living in. Latin Americans are one of the few responsive groups to the Gospel in the midst of post-modern Europe. Let’s pray that this people group will make an eternal impact in Europe.
Trailblazing Solo
I would ask for prayers for Brook as she’s in London for the rest of this month trailblazing alone.
Well, here I am. One year ago I left Hot Springs to go to my training in Richmond to begin this journey. It’s been a journey I may have not picked out for myself (for several reasons), but God continues to show Himself to me in ways I can’t imagine. I believe it’s so important for us to reflect on the good God has done in our life, because often times we get so focused on the negative and forget the ways He’s been with us.
I look back and think of the times where I’ve doubted, but God provided. He provided that I kept this job, He provided that when I was stranded in Germany a couple came to the airport to find me so I could stay with them, and He’s provided that right now I don’t need surgery. We serve a big God. When I read the Old Testament I always get upset with the Israelites and their disbelief despite the miraculous things they saw. I challenge you (and myself) to not be like that, but to follow our God through the tough times.
This past month I have stayed in Madrid instead of going to London. My supervisor has been very flexible in letting me continue the therapy I’ve begun here. I am continuing with internet research on Latin Americans in Germany and Italy. I’m trying to narrow down the research to specific cities within those countries.
I did have the opportunity to go to a team meeting north of London this past week (the reason for the late newsletter). It’s exciting to get together with 13 other people to focus on the task at hand. The Americas Diaspora team is here to mobilize Latin Americans abroad to share the Gospel with people from their own culture and the culture they are living in. Latin Americans are one of the few responsive groups to the Gospel in the midst of post-modern Europe. Let’s pray that this people group will make an eternal impact in Europe.
Trailblazing Solo
I would ask for prayers for Brook as she’s in London for the rest of this month trailblazing alone.
Thankfully 3 other couples on our team live in London, but I know it must be hard when we signed up to do this job together. Pray that she discovers important information that will be useful for the couples that live there now. God is already opening up doors in London, so pray that Latin Americans are interested in the Gospel and have a desire to learn and grow.
London is a huge gateway city for immigrants from all over the world. Pray that she is able to discover the realities of Latino immigrants in London. This is an important part of our job in determining what are bridges to the Gospel.
Prayer Requests
Continued healing for legs
Brook’s work in London (she’ll be there until the 29th)
Research on Germany and Italy
Bible study group that has begun at the Pachalian’s house in Madrid
For contacts with Latin Americans interested in the Gospel
Praises!
Mom is with me now visiting!
I’m able to continue with therapy
More and more opportunities to share the Gospel! (should be more stories posted about this on the blog later this month)
Please let me know your prayer requests or say hello! I really love hearing from everyone. Keeps me connected with what’s going on back home.
In Him,
Taryn
Sunday, September 19, 2010
2nd String
If you know anything about sports, you know that the string you are on signifies how good of a player you are. First string starts and second string fills in when the first string cannot fulfill their responsibilities for whatever reason. While growing up I always went to Darren's (my brother) football games. During this time, I would hear him talking about the strings, who played what position, and what he thought about those people playing those positions. Strings were important for him, because you want to be on the 1st string because you want to be considered a great player!
Recently the decision has been made for me to sit out this next trailblazer trip to London. This is for several reasons. First off, the trip to Valencia was still too hard for me; I'm not able to walk like I need to without experiencing quite a bit of pain and without feeling tired. Another reason is so I can continue with my physical therapy here in Madrid. I am very blessed because my supervisor has been nothing but understanding through all of this. From the beginning of when the accident occurred, he has allowed me to remain on this team and has helped allowed me to remain a part of this team. Even though I know this decision of me staying in Madrid is for the best, disappointments and frustrations still stir in my heart. I feel as though I'm on the 2nd string, and there doesn't seem to be anything I can do to change that.
I have work that I'll be doing in Madrid, but selfishly it just doesn't feel like it will be as exciting as the work in London that I should be doing. Through this I still keep looking at God and asking why. I can't help but to wonder if I'm more of a hindrance to the work than a help. Brook is having to go and do this part of the job alone this time. Granted there are 3 couples in London that can help, I feel guilty that I'm not well enough to be there trailblazing.
It seems as though I keep facing barriers. I'm having to learn to change these things in my mind from barriers to opportunities. But it's so hard. Quite honestly, I'm tired of keeping my chin up and tired of looking on the brighter side of things. Despite the tantrum I would really like to throw, I'm still just turning to God. I'm learning to turn to Him with my arms completely open because I don't want to be clutching on to anything but Him. He gives and takes away, in the big things and small. In my worldly view I feel as though I'm on the 2nd string, but I'm not. I'm exactly where God wanted me to be. Over and over again it's necessary for me to go back to where this process began, so I can be certain that I'm supposed to be here.
I encountered spiritual warfare through the initial interview process that kept me awake most nights. Once my application was submitted it lifted. I turned down another job opportunity before I even knew I had an interview (not even a job) with IMB. I waited another 2 weeks to finally get an interview and the doors opened from there. The right job was there and the right teammate as well. I had SUCH a peace during the interview process and when I was waiting on my job assignment.
Something very private I'm willing to share is about one night during the interview. If you know me, one of my "love languages" is physical touch. I love hugs from my family and friends and am always holding hands with my parents. The night before my one on one interview I had painted my fingernails, so I was resting with my hands out, so the nails could continue to dry. As I was laying I felt someone holding my hands. At first I thought this was weird, shook my hands and rested them out again. Once again I felt someone holding my hands.
I can't tell you how many times I've had to go back to that moment to be reminded that God is right here with me. I think God gives us these moments for us to go back to so we can testify that He's real. He's so real that He can literally touch me because this is one of the ways I feel the most loved. When I remember this I am encouraged that I'm not walking this road alone. There's purpose in this road, and no matter what He's first, not me. So I lift up this broken spirit to Him and ask Him to do with it what He can.
Please pray for Brook as she's in London for 5 weeks. Please pray for me while I do research and continue with therapy. Thankfully my mom is getting to come visit me for a couple of weeks and for my birthday, and we are soooo excited to see one another.
I have seen Truth, so it's just not an option to walk away when things get tough. So I won't walk away, I'll just keep moving forward leaning on His understanding and not mine. Your prayers carry me to our Father, and I can't thank you enough for walking this with me.
1st string,
Taryn
Recently the decision has been made for me to sit out this next trailblazer trip to London. This is for several reasons. First off, the trip to Valencia was still too hard for me; I'm not able to walk like I need to without experiencing quite a bit of pain and without feeling tired. Another reason is so I can continue with my physical therapy here in Madrid. I am very blessed because my supervisor has been nothing but understanding through all of this. From the beginning of when the accident occurred, he has allowed me to remain on this team and has helped allowed me to remain a part of this team. Even though I know this decision of me staying in Madrid is for the best, disappointments and frustrations still stir in my heart. I feel as though I'm on the 2nd string, and there doesn't seem to be anything I can do to change that.
I have work that I'll be doing in Madrid, but selfishly it just doesn't feel like it will be as exciting as the work in London that I should be doing. Through this I still keep looking at God and asking why. I can't help but to wonder if I'm more of a hindrance to the work than a help. Brook is having to go and do this part of the job alone this time. Granted there are 3 couples in London that can help, I feel guilty that I'm not well enough to be there trailblazing.
It seems as though I keep facing barriers. I'm having to learn to change these things in my mind from barriers to opportunities. But it's so hard. Quite honestly, I'm tired of keeping my chin up and tired of looking on the brighter side of things. Despite the tantrum I would really like to throw, I'm still just turning to God. I'm learning to turn to Him with my arms completely open because I don't want to be clutching on to anything but Him. He gives and takes away, in the big things and small. In my worldly view I feel as though I'm on the 2nd string, but I'm not. I'm exactly where God wanted me to be. Over and over again it's necessary for me to go back to where this process began, so I can be certain that I'm supposed to be here.
I encountered spiritual warfare through the initial interview process that kept me awake most nights. Once my application was submitted it lifted. I turned down another job opportunity before I even knew I had an interview (not even a job) with IMB. I waited another 2 weeks to finally get an interview and the doors opened from there. The right job was there and the right teammate as well. I had SUCH a peace during the interview process and when I was waiting on my job assignment.
Something very private I'm willing to share is about one night during the interview. If you know me, one of my "love languages" is physical touch. I love hugs from my family and friends and am always holding hands with my parents. The night before my one on one interview I had painted my fingernails, so I was resting with my hands out, so the nails could continue to dry. As I was laying I felt someone holding my hands. At first I thought this was weird, shook my hands and rested them out again. Once again I felt someone holding my hands.
I can't tell you how many times I've had to go back to that moment to be reminded that God is right here with me. I think God gives us these moments for us to go back to so we can testify that He's real. He's so real that He can literally touch me because this is one of the ways I feel the most loved. When I remember this I am encouraged that I'm not walking this road alone. There's purpose in this road, and no matter what He's first, not me. So I lift up this broken spirit to Him and ask Him to do with it what He can.
Please pray for Brook as she's in London for 5 weeks. Please pray for me while I do research and continue with therapy. Thankfully my mom is getting to come visit me for a couple of weeks and for my birthday, and we are soooo excited to see one another.
I have seen Truth, so it's just not an option to walk away when things get tough. So I won't walk away, I'll just keep moving forward leaning on His understanding and not mine. Your prayers carry me to our Father, and I can't thank you enough for walking this with me.
1st string,
Taryn
Friday, September 10, 2010
When I'm Too Tired to Walk, I'll Run
I looked around and couldn't help but smile. I absolutely love fall and felt that this year the leaves were changing into their beautiful colors just for me. The gold, crimson, and burnt colored leaves scattered throughout the trees never cease to take my breath away. When I went to school at TCU my freshman year of college, the fact that the leaves didn't change colors in Ft. Worth was the last straw. I even remember crying on the telephone with my mom over this (a little dramatic, maybe, but it was a tough start for me!). I love fall in Arkansas that much! But this year was different. God knew I wouldn't have the fall next year because I'd be in Spain. And who knows if the leaves change colors there or even if their beauty could touch the majesty of fall in Virginia. I couldn't help but feel such an intimacy with God over how beautifully He had orchestrated fall this year and how it deeply touched me and brought joy.
I was pondering all of this on a run one afternoon while I was at training in Virginia last year. I felt like so many things about me were different, especially the mere fact that I was running. As I soaked in the beauty of the leaves and felt like God was speaking to my heart, I questioned why I was even running. If you know anything about me, you'd know that I hate running. With a passion. For some reason, though, I had started. My mom's best friend, Myra, had been doing interval running, so I had decided to give it a shot. I recruited another girl that disliked running (who wants to run with someone who is fast and loves running??) and during my training I ran consistently 5-6 times a week. A miracle in and of itself that'd I'd run. I'd run alone or with friends, but I'd always warn them how slow I was. I even ran with Stephanie, who was pregnant, and I'm a little embarrassed to say she was way faster than me! I ran nonetheless and on this day I couldn't help to wonder why.
Like many people exercising is a tough discipline to conquer. I'm one of those people, but last year I felt like I just had to get ready for something. I was getting ready for Europe. Over and over in my head I would question why I was doing the very activity I hated the most and would remind myself I was doing it for the immigrants in Europe. I was doing it so that I could be a trailblazer. The job description read that a trailblazer must be able to walk long distances and share short, effective testimonies. I kept that in my mind, pushed aside my questions of why I would be doing the very thing I hate and thanked the Lord for giving me the drive to run. Little did I know I was running for other reasons.
About 10 1/2 months ago I had my accident that broke both of my legs and my jaw, along with several other broken bones and complications. Those weeks of running were spent getting me ready to be broken in a way I could never imagine. Over and over again in the hospital I would tell everyone I'd be okay because I had been running. Quite the optimist at the time! (I think the Holy Spirit and maybe even some medicine helped me) My legs are strong legs, and they were even stronger from the running. They had to be because of the long, tough road ahead.
I have really gone rounds with God over this one. I feel anger and frustration about having the desire to run just to be broken. I still feel anger and frustration that with every step I feel the effects of my injuries that at this point I thought would be a lost memory. Chronic pain and discomfort are too familiar, and when it really gets to me I can't help but ask why. I then sometimes feel guilty because so many other people experience more pain or receive the news that they'll never run again much less walk. These thoughts humble me, but sometimes it's not enough to silence the doubts in my head.
I've been thinking alot about this lately as I've started up some therapy. The therapy is massages along with electrodes placed on my legs. All of this helps the muscles heal. The pain of this therapy is awful, and last night as I left I felt nauseous from the pain and had a horrible headache all night. During a leg massage I even thought "if child birth is pain like this, I'm taking a lot of medicine or adopting all my kids." (dramatic? you try having therapy) So last year I was running for this? Last year I was preparing for this?
From the beginning of this accident, it was evident that this was a spiritual attack. The very things that I needed to use, my mouth and legs, were broken. I had even declared a battle against Satan the week before (please refer to blog "A Declaration of War" from January). I believe Satan asked God to sift me, and God has allowed him to do just that. All of this is so hard to understand, and I don't like it one bit. I don't think we have to "enjoy" the siftings in our lives or the times where God is growing us. But I do believe we don't just quit. By this I mean we don't just shut God out completely. I've learned to be honest with God, since He knows how I'm feeling anyways. I've learned that there's not an emotion of mine he can't handle, so I just keep telling Him how I feel. I feel disappointed. I feel angry. I feel constant pain. I feel sadness. I just feel alot (maybe because I'm a girl, who knows!) The important thing is I let Him into those things, so He can modify and work in me. I need to be more like Him, so by opening up my heart the Spirit moves.
I can feel when the Spirit is at work. That's when I feel hope and bits of restoration. At very sporadic times there are these moments when I know you are praying. My world slows down for a few seconds and the pain stops. I'll be walking, and I can feel the prayers surround me when a few seconds earlier the pain was about to overwhelm me. The Father is at work here. If anything He keeps changing my heart and humbling me.
There are days where my body is so tired that I don't think I can walk anymore. So I've decided when I'm too tired to walk, I'll run. I'll run to Him. I'll cry to Him. I'll let Him hold me in the midst of my pain. He refreshes my spirit and calls me to move forward through this. I feel like I am too aware of how fallen this world is and how this life is not what we were made for. I feel this throughout my body, and my heart aches for eternity. The other side of this is that there are people out there who don't know about this eternity, and they deserve a chance to hear that through Christ alone they too can experience eternity and restoration. So I must remain here. I must live in this broken body until God takes me home or Christ returns. I must proclaim Him as King of kings because there really is no other like Him. I refuse to give up, even though I've thought about it. I refuse to quit praising Him, even though I've been so angry. I don't want the enemy to receive any glory. And I'll run to my Father even though I'm still figuring out how to walk. Maybe God has wanted me to run to Him for a long time, but because I hated running, He had to teach me how. Now I know how, so I'll run.
In Him,
Taryn
I was pondering all of this on a run one afternoon while I was at training in Virginia last year. I felt like so many things about me were different, especially the mere fact that I was running. As I soaked in the beauty of the leaves and felt like God was speaking to my heart, I questioned why I was even running. If you know anything about me, you'd know that I hate running. With a passion. For some reason, though, I had started. My mom's best friend, Myra, had been doing interval running, so I had decided to give it a shot. I recruited another girl that disliked running (who wants to run with someone who is fast and loves running??) and during my training I ran consistently 5-6 times a week. A miracle in and of itself that'd I'd run. I'd run alone or with friends, but I'd always warn them how slow I was. I even ran with Stephanie, who was pregnant, and I'm a little embarrassed to say she was way faster than me! I ran nonetheless and on this day I couldn't help to wonder why.
Like many people exercising is a tough discipline to conquer. I'm one of those people, but last year I felt like I just had to get ready for something. I was getting ready for Europe. Over and over in my head I would question why I was doing the very activity I hated the most and would remind myself I was doing it for the immigrants in Europe. I was doing it so that I could be a trailblazer. The job description read that a trailblazer must be able to walk long distances and share short, effective testimonies. I kept that in my mind, pushed aside my questions of why I would be doing the very thing I hate and thanked the Lord for giving me the drive to run. Little did I know I was running for other reasons.
About 10 1/2 months ago I had my accident that broke both of my legs and my jaw, along with several other broken bones and complications. Those weeks of running were spent getting me ready to be broken in a way I could never imagine. Over and over again in the hospital I would tell everyone I'd be okay because I had been running. Quite the optimist at the time! (I think the Holy Spirit and maybe even some medicine helped me) My legs are strong legs, and they were even stronger from the running. They had to be because of the long, tough road ahead.
I have really gone rounds with God over this one. I feel anger and frustration about having the desire to run just to be broken. I still feel anger and frustration that with every step I feel the effects of my injuries that at this point I thought would be a lost memory. Chronic pain and discomfort are too familiar, and when it really gets to me I can't help but ask why. I then sometimes feel guilty because so many other people experience more pain or receive the news that they'll never run again much less walk. These thoughts humble me, but sometimes it's not enough to silence the doubts in my head.
I've been thinking alot about this lately as I've started up some therapy. The therapy is massages along with electrodes placed on my legs. All of this helps the muscles heal. The pain of this therapy is awful, and last night as I left I felt nauseous from the pain and had a horrible headache all night. During a leg massage I even thought "if child birth is pain like this, I'm taking a lot of medicine or adopting all my kids." (dramatic? you try having therapy) So last year I was running for this? Last year I was preparing for this?
From the beginning of this accident, it was evident that this was a spiritual attack. The very things that I needed to use, my mouth and legs, were broken. I had even declared a battle against Satan the week before (please refer to blog "A Declaration of War" from January). I believe Satan asked God to sift me, and God has allowed him to do just that. All of this is so hard to understand, and I don't like it one bit. I don't think we have to "enjoy" the siftings in our lives or the times where God is growing us. But I do believe we don't just quit. By this I mean we don't just shut God out completely. I've learned to be honest with God, since He knows how I'm feeling anyways. I've learned that there's not an emotion of mine he can't handle, so I just keep telling Him how I feel. I feel disappointed. I feel angry. I feel constant pain. I feel sadness. I just feel alot (maybe because I'm a girl, who knows!) The important thing is I let Him into those things, so He can modify and work in me. I need to be more like Him, so by opening up my heart the Spirit moves.
I can feel when the Spirit is at work. That's when I feel hope and bits of restoration. At very sporadic times there are these moments when I know you are praying. My world slows down for a few seconds and the pain stops. I'll be walking, and I can feel the prayers surround me when a few seconds earlier the pain was about to overwhelm me. The Father is at work here. If anything He keeps changing my heart and humbling me.
There are days where my body is so tired that I don't think I can walk anymore. So I've decided when I'm too tired to walk, I'll run. I'll run to Him. I'll cry to Him. I'll let Him hold me in the midst of my pain. He refreshes my spirit and calls me to move forward through this. I feel like I am too aware of how fallen this world is and how this life is not what we were made for. I feel this throughout my body, and my heart aches for eternity. The other side of this is that there are people out there who don't know about this eternity, and they deserve a chance to hear that through Christ alone they too can experience eternity and restoration. So I must remain here. I must live in this broken body until God takes me home or Christ returns. I must proclaim Him as King of kings because there really is no other like Him. I refuse to give up, even though I've thought about it. I refuse to quit praising Him, even though I've been so angry. I don't want the enemy to receive any glory. And I'll run to my Father even though I'm still figuring out how to walk. Maybe God has wanted me to run to Him for a long time, but because I hated running, He had to teach me how. Now I know how, so I'll run.
In Him,
Taryn
Sunday, September 5, 2010
September Update
A Mad Dash to Valencia
Brook and I finally were able to travel this past month! We left August 10 for Valencia and did not return until the 1st of September. We were given the go ahead by our supervisor, Nolen, to buy tickets and find a place to stay. We did all this while facing the challenge that August was a vacation month, We finally found a place to stay and were off!
When we first arrived we didn’t know anything about Valencia except for the Latino populations of different neighborhoods. The first night we were there we went to one of these neighborhoods, and from this first evening it was obvious how the Lord provided.
On the street we were trying to find out if there was a Latin American restaurant and were asking people around us. All of the sudden a pregnant Spanish lady passing by started speaking to us in English! Most Spaniards don’t speak English so we were very glad to have someone to communicate clearly with. I explained to Lorena why we were there, and she then told us to go to her mother’s church and that they could help us. She then explained that she no longer went to church because she had been “naughty,” but she knew this church helped with immigrants.
That next Sunday Brook and I went to that church to be met almost immediately by a man from Florida. He and his wife are missionaries in Valencia and work with an evangelical organization called Misión Urbana. Through them they connected us with a Venezuelan pastor who spoke perfect English because his wife is from Britain and he studied there for many years. WOW!Through these contacts we were able to learn about Latinos in Valencia and to learn about the evangelical situation there. The reality is that Spain is lost and many of the immigrants moving here are lost.
At one Colombian bread place we visited regularly, we were able to get to know a man, Orlando. A few days before we left he told us that his daughter is Jehovah’s Witness, and he believed this was the same as evangelical Christians. We were able to tell him that this wasn’t true, and we gave him information that explained the differences. The missionaries we met from Florida said they were willing to follow up with him. The exciting thing is that Orlando was very open to this. Please pray that he comes to know the truth.
The Pain of Growing
During the trip, Brook and I faced many difficulties of places being closed because of summer vacations, and a lot of days that felt like we were aimlessly walking around. Many times we would strike up conversations with people on the metro to ask about their lives in Spain in comparison to their lives in their home country.
Even though the Lord provided in such a huge way, I regularly felt frustrated and worn down. Most of this was because my legs were very tired each day, and I just couldn’t walk for hours each day.
To follow up with my previous doctor from July, I had a 2nd opinion on the 2nd of this month. This doctor does not seem to think that surgery is the best option right now and suggested that I continue with some more therapy for 2-3 months.
Waiting for this doctors visit was very hard for me because I knew that surgery could change my job or end it. The other tough thing is that I’ve had to realize that I need to keep creating healthy boundaries for myself, so that I can be productive in this job and so that I can experience less pain.
My team has been a huge source of encouragement as have you guys. I really am thankful for the prayers and feel humbled by the way that the Lord continues to let me be here despite all the bumps in the road.
Many times I wonder if I’m making any difference, and I have to stop and realize that it’s not about me changing people’s lives. The Lord does that. I’m assuming God’s putting me through a season of a lot of growth because I’ve encountered a lot of physical and emotional pain over these past months. Pray that I do grow and that I remain faithful to the call God has set before me. Growing isn’t fun, but it’s necessary for us to become more like the One we praise.
Prayer Request
Legs– for swelling to go down/ no pain
For Orlando and Lorena-that they may know truth
For preparation for the next trip to London at the end of this month (quick turnaround!)
PRAISES!
New therapy and no surgery for now!
Please let me know how to pray for you!
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Apartment Tour/ Now a Spaniard
Some videos below for fun. One FINALLY of my apartment and one of my Spanish residency card. I'm feeling more and more Spanish!
Monday, August 16, 2010
Suffering at the Beach for Jesus
First trip for work!
Alameda Bridge- there used to be a river that ran through Valencia, but it would flood the city. The river has been redirected and the river bed is now a big green area that runs through the city.
Valencia supposedly is the origin of Paella- a Spanish dish with rice and different types of meats or seafood
Valencia's metro is ALOT slower than Madrid's
Valencia's beach
Bull ring and train StationWhen a pregnant woman in Valencia speaks English to you and tells you to go to an evangelical church that her mom goes to, you go. After a crazy day last Tuesday of getting off to the airport (a team members purse was stolen AND at the airport the check in counter wouldn't let Brook use her Spain ID card to check in, even though the website said you could, so Nolen had to go back to our apartment and get her passport), we finally arrived in Valencia. The flight was short, but as soon as we stepped outside we could feel the humidity. The weather is actually very similar to Florida, since Valencia is on the east coast of Spain.
We got to our hotel, and then decided to scope out one of the neighborhoods we had researched. This barrio (neighborhood) has a reported high population of Latin Americans living there, so Brook and I walked around for awhile. We walked into a vegetable and fruit stand and asked if anyone knew of a Latino restaurant in the area. Before we knew it we were outside with several people speaking English to us trying to give us directions. It was a very bizarre moment because many Spaniards do not speak English. It was also bizarre because we were surround by Spaniards, Latinos, and Indians. A pregnant woman, Lorena, walking by heard our English and stopped to help.
We told Lorena who we were and what we were doing in Valencia, researching the realities of Latin American immigrants lives in this city. Once we explained our desire to learn more about the immigrants here, she told us about her mother's church in Valencia that does alot of work helping people. She further explained that she no longer goes to church because she's a "naughty girl" but that if we go to this church the people there would help us out. AND this entire conversation was in English because Lorena had spent 5 years in Australia. What a blessing! Brook and I have been so nervous about our Spanish, and here on the first night God brought someone to us who could communicate perfectly with us. It started to rain, so we head back to the hotel after saying good bye and thanking her for her help. Pray she returns to the Lord and realizes that Christ came for the "naughty" people of this world.
The rest of the first week we've visited consulates and tried to visit other organizations that specifically work with immigrants here. We've had alot of hits and misses. You have a map in your hand and finally find your way to the location only to find sometimes that the organization has moved or no longer exist. Or you find that no one is willing to help you. A lot of time is spent walking around and engaging in conversations where you can. This can be going to a highly Latino populated barrio and visiting a cafe asking for advice or information or it can be spending some time praying that someone will help you or give you the needed information. Ultimately our goal in being here in Valencia is to know how Latinos here are being reached with the Gospel.
Yesterday we went to the church that Lorena told us about. As we entered we were welcomed and then an American man walked up to us and asked us if we spoke English. We come to find out that Chris and his wife, Anita, are missionaries in Valencia with another Christian organization! We tell them a little bit about why we are here, and they graciously open up their home to us for an after church meal. We spent an amazing time talking about the ministry here they serve with (Mision Urbana) and how this ministry reaches out to immigrants who move to Valencia. It was such a blessing because once again the language barrier was taken down and we were able to pick their brains a little big about the immigrant situation in Valencia and receptiveness to the Gospel.
Today Brook and I went seeking out more organizations, some of which are closed for August (even vacation cities are apparently closed during August) or have moved locations. Tomorrow we are going to Mision Urbano to hopefully learn more about how Latin Americans are being helped through this, and Wednesday we have a meeting with a pastor (who also speaks English!). God is opening up doors for us and little by little we are learning more about the barriers and bridges that exist here for the Gospel. We even had a great talk with a man from Ecuador today. He was very open to us in sharing his experience and the motives in why he is here in Spain.
As we blaze a trail in Valencia, I pray that we leave lights of truth along the way. I pray that we build healthy relationships and that Brook and I are accepted by those who we are asking questions to. Pray for our time tomorrow and Wednesday. Pray that we learn more about the realities of immigrants and that we know bridges to sharing the gospel. I rest assured that the Spirit has already gone before us (I mean, obviously, with us meeting so many English speakers!). Pray that Brook and I are tuned in with the Holy Spirit and that we continue to have opportunities to share truth. Some good and exciting news is one day on the metro there were 3 people from Colombia around my age. The girl had a Bible in her hand, so I was able to talk to her for awhile. There are people seeking the Lord here. Pray that they seek and find the Truth that we are here to share.
Health: My health is doing fairly well. Something kind of crazy is that I recently had an allergic reaction to ibuprofen (I have red welps from head to toe). I had another reaction to a medicine at the beginning of July (slow, difficulty breathing and well as severe dizziness), so I think I'm allergic to anti-inflammatory medications. This is a bummer because ibuprofen had been helping me manage my pain, so now I'm back to using a stronger medicine. Walking is a daily challenge and my joints and muscles still ache, and I can't go all day long like I wish I could. Also with the amount of walking, I'm slowing down. All that to say, I am doing okay, and I can feel the prayers. Please keep praying because Brook and I'll be here in Valencia until September 1st. I cannot tell you how much your encouragement blesses me. Sorry if that was a scattered update, but I wanted to let y'all in on the work being done right now! Oh and from the title, you probably figured that Valencia is on the coast. Yes there's a beach, and yes Brook and I have visited it. I know, I know, suffering for Jesus is tough :)
A lot of love from Spain,
Taryn
Today Brook and I went seeking out more organizations, some of which are closed for August (even vacation cities are apparently closed during August) or have moved locations. Tomorrow we are going to Mision Urbano to hopefully learn more about how Latin Americans are being helped through this, and Wednesday we have a meeting with a pastor (who also speaks English!). God is opening up doors for us and little by little we are learning more about the barriers and bridges that exist here for the Gospel. We even had a great talk with a man from Ecuador today. He was very open to us in sharing his experience and the motives in why he is here in Spain.
As we blaze a trail in Valencia, I pray that we leave lights of truth along the way. I pray that we build healthy relationships and that Brook and I are accepted by those who we are asking questions to. Pray for our time tomorrow and Wednesday. Pray that we learn more about the realities of immigrants and that we know bridges to sharing the gospel. I rest assured that the Spirit has already gone before us (I mean, obviously, with us meeting so many English speakers!). Pray that Brook and I are tuned in with the Holy Spirit and that we continue to have opportunities to share truth. Some good and exciting news is one day on the metro there were 3 people from Colombia around my age. The girl had a Bible in her hand, so I was able to talk to her for awhile. There are people seeking the Lord here. Pray that they seek and find the Truth that we are here to share.
Health: My health is doing fairly well. Something kind of crazy is that I recently had an allergic reaction to ibuprofen (I have red welps from head to toe). I had another reaction to a medicine at the beginning of July (slow, difficulty breathing and well as severe dizziness), so I think I'm allergic to anti-inflammatory medications. This is a bummer because ibuprofen had been helping me manage my pain, so now I'm back to using a stronger medicine. Walking is a daily challenge and my joints and muscles still ache, and I can't go all day long like I wish I could. Also with the amount of walking, I'm slowing down. All that to say, I am doing okay, and I can feel the prayers. Please keep praying because Brook and I'll be here in Valencia until September 1st. I cannot tell you how much your encouragement blesses me. Sorry if that was a scattered update, but I wanted to let y'all in on the work being done right now! Oh and from the title, you probably figured that Valencia is on the coast. Yes there's a beach, and yes Brook and I have visited it. I know, I know, suffering for Jesus is tough :)
A lot of love from Spain,
Taryn
Friday, August 6, 2010
A Loose Grip
Brook and I are FINALLY getting to travel. We will be leaving Tuesday the 10th for Valencia in the south of Spain. We will try to contact organizations, churches, and do street interviews to better understand the realities for immigrants in this city. We also want to know more about how many churches reach out to Latin Americans. Please pray for our time there (22 days living out of a suitcase!) and that we will be able to communicate clearly. God has been teaching me a lot lately about the dreams I have in this life. Before all the events of November, I had big dreams of going above and beyond in my job. I didn't know what exactly that would be, but I knew that's what I wanted to do. I had this unrealistic expectation that I wanted to be Super Taryn. I am learning that God never wanted Super Taryn for this job. He wanted broken Taryn.
With that, I am learning what it means to have a loose grip on the things I call my dreams. There are many things that I believe God has truly placed on my heart. For instance I knew since 13 months ago that this was the job I was called to. Some dreams I have for the future include adopting kids from different parts of the world (I love the idea of having a household that reflects what we'll encounter in eternity), and there's a specific location that I feel called to for the future to serve. But even these dreams, as good and well as they are in life, cannot be priorities in my life. The thing that always must be first is my love for the Father. I had big dreams of coming to Spain at full force. I had big dreams of engaging with people and interacting all the time with them. Instead those big dreams have had to change to doing the work I can to the best of my ability now. No above and beyond for me, in my opinion. I hate that. I hate limitations, and I hate giving up what my dreams and expectations were. I hate that instead of going full speed, I am barely making it to average speed most days. Even then I have to pace myself. I expect more out of myself. I expect to be 100% even though every doctor I have encountered tells me that this isn't a possibility in recovery at this time from what I've been through.
Shattered, broken dreams. Expectations crushed and ruined. Doubts, confusion, and frustration. I've had to ask myself lately if my dreams have gotten in the way of the One I love. I've had to step back and ask if I've loved my dreams more than the Lord. He challenges me to keep a loose grip on my dreams. He calls forward in loving and serving Him in the midst of trials. The point isn't fulfilling my dreams. Like I said, those are things that I strongly believe God has called me to do, but what if they don't happen? What if God doesn't allow for me to adopt children from all over the world? What if I never get to move to this one particular country that has a hold of my heart? Am I okay with that? How tight is my grip on my dreams? I do not want to forget my first love and the Creator of these dreams. I just have to keep reminding myself to keep a loose grip on my dreams. The Lord gives and takes away, but I must follow no matter what. I have to remember how deeply He loves me. I have to remember He hurts with me. He feels every beat of my heart. He knows my deepest fears. He intimately understands what makes me tick or what interest me. He knows me. I can trust Him. I can have a loose grip on my dreams because no matter what, the Lord has my best interest at heart. I let go of these dreams, but He's the one who decides what He does with them and how He uses them to stretch and grow me.
Growing isn't fun. I sure hope that I've been growing through all of this. I would hate for this to all be for nothing and for me to not grow so close to the Father during this time. I would challenge you to examine yourself and look at the things or dreams you have grasped in your hands. Are you willing to loosen the grip and trust whatever it is to God? We can give it all to Him, if only we'd let go.
Keeping a loose grip,
Taryn
With that, I am learning what it means to have a loose grip on the things I call my dreams. There are many things that I believe God has truly placed on my heart. For instance I knew since 13 months ago that this was the job I was called to. Some dreams I have for the future include adopting kids from different parts of the world (I love the idea of having a household that reflects what we'll encounter in eternity), and there's a specific location that I feel called to for the future to serve. But even these dreams, as good and well as they are in life, cannot be priorities in my life. The thing that always must be first is my love for the Father. I had big dreams of coming to Spain at full force. I had big dreams of engaging with people and interacting all the time with them. Instead those big dreams have had to change to doing the work I can to the best of my ability now. No above and beyond for me, in my opinion. I hate that. I hate limitations, and I hate giving up what my dreams and expectations were. I hate that instead of going full speed, I am barely making it to average speed most days. Even then I have to pace myself. I expect more out of myself. I expect to be 100% even though every doctor I have encountered tells me that this isn't a possibility in recovery at this time from what I've been through.
Shattered, broken dreams. Expectations crushed and ruined. Doubts, confusion, and frustration. I've had to ask myself lately if my dreams have gotten in the way of the One I love. I've had to step back and ask if I've loved my dreams more than the Lord. He challenges me to keep a loose grip on my dreams. He calls forward in loving and serving Him in the midst of trials. The point isn't fulfilling my dreams. Like I said, those are things that I strongly believe God has called me to do, but what if they don't happen? What if God doesn't allow for me to adopt children from all over the world? What if I never get to move to this one particular country that has a hold of my heart? Am I okay with that? How tight is my grip on my dreams? I do not want to forget my first love and the Creator of these dreams. I just have to keep reminding myself to keep a loose grip on my dreams. The Lord gives and takes away, but I must follow no matter what. I have to remember how deeply He loves me. I have to remember He hurts with me. He feels every beat of my heart. He knows my deepest fears. He intimately understands what makes me tick or what interest me. He knows me. I can trust Him. I can have a loose grip on my dreams because no matter what, the Lord has my best interest at heart. I let go of these dreams, but He's the one who decides what He does with them and how He uses them to stretch and grow me.
Growing isn't fun. I sure hope that I've been growing through all of this. I would hate for this to all be for nothing and for me to not grow so close to the Father during this time. I would challenge you to examine yourself and look at the things or dreams you have grasped in your hands. Are you willing to loosen the grip and trust whatever it is to God? We can give it all to Him, if only we'd let go.
Keeping a loose grip,
Taryn
Sunday, August 1, 2010
August Update
The Journey Girls of Madrid!Madrid's Exodus
Hello hot African heat! Let me tell you something… the air here is dry and hot! With that just about everyone leaves Madrid the end of July and the entire month of August.
This past Friday night Brook and I went to see Toy Story 3 (in English, wahoo!), and we noticed that the metro was really crowded and that everyone had suitcases. We were a bit puzzled and then realized that August was upon us. It is well known that things shut down in Madrid during this month. Literally offices will be closed the entire month!
With that I am running into a bit of a problem as I am seeking out a second opinion on my legs. Please pray that I can find a doctor in the midst of Madrid’s exodus. With my communication with the Board’s medical team, they suggested a 2nd opinion before looking to any kind of surgery. I am still hoping that no surgery will be necessary and that my body is just still healing. Swelling is still up and down. I get really excited when it’s low, but then it seems within the next few days it’s back up again. Please pray that I don’t get discouraged by this.
Brook and I have been working on some more neighborhood population information specifically for Valencia and Sevilla. We found that Burgos didn’t have a significant Latino population, so we won’t be going there. We have had some contacts with evangelical organizations. We are hoping that these connections will help us discover some of the realities of the immigrants here, and how those things can be bridges to the gospel.
Brook and I keep thinking that travel is around the corner, but we still aren’t set on a specific date just yet. We know it will be sometime this month though. We’ve been working on some interview formats and getting those translated. You have to be culturally aware when asking questions to people because you don’t want to ask something that offends someone.
Please pray that these interview formats will be functional for our work and will help us gather the necessary information about Latinos here. The main focus through all of this is to know how people need to be reached with the Gospel.
Poco a Poco
I really enjoy learning Spanish phrases. Some things they say are similar like “poco a poco” (little by little) and some things are different like “boca arriba” (mouth down instead of face down) and “hablando del rey de Roma” (speak of the devil, but literally means speak of the king of Rome). There are always good language days and of course bad ones. I feel accomplished when I have a smooth conversation and I feel like I understand everything going on. Then there are other times where I wonder if I know any Spanish at all!
With language, work, and relationships I am learning that things in life are “poco a poco.” I have a personality where I like to be going and moving quickly. In many ways that’s changed for me physically because I’m not 100% yet. In many ways a fast pace isn’t how things go in ministry as well. Ministry is a lot of relationship building and time invested in people.
Brook and I have been praying for some Latino friends. We have some Spanish friends, but we both realized that we are here to focus on Latino immigrants. The other day while we were at our local hangout (so fun that I can say we have one!), we were talking to the waitress there. We’ll call her R.
R had begun to respond to us when we would go there because we’ve been going to this restaurant since April. The other day we started chatting with her, and she asked us about why we were here. When we explained our job, she said, “Oh, I’m from Argentina!” Brook and I had no idea that R was Latina! She’s fairer skinned with blond hair and light eyes. We had assumed she was German or Russian.
R is our age and seems very open to us and we plan on spending some more time with her soon. Please pray for her heart. Pray that through our relationship we can share the love and hope in Christ.
PRAYER REQUESTSLegs– for swelling to go down/ no pain
Continued practice of language
Memorization of Spanish Scripture
For R and that her heart will open to the Gospel
PRAISES!
Excited for a new Latin American friend my age!
Language is coming along
Interview formats in the process of revision to be used for travel
Please let me know how to pray for you!
In Him,
Taryn
Monday, July 19, 2010
Brook's Bday/The 4th/Strike/World Cup/Rayos-X
The symbol of Madrid in Sol- a bear climbing a tree.
Birthday Girl!
The end of June and up until now in July has been hectic to say the least! June 28th marked Brook's 24th birthday, so we celebrated with cake, balloons, streamers, and presents. Welcome to your mid 20's!
The end of June and up until now in July has been hectic to say the least! June 28th marked Brook's 24th birthday, so we celebrated with cake, balloons, streamers, and presents. Welcome to your mid 20's!
No Fireworks
The 4th of July was fairly uneventful. I tried to see in the US embassy was doing anything exciting, but found no information. Funny how you realize what a big deal something is in the States and then here, people know nothing of it. That's okay though. I missed the fireworks that I usually watch at Kanakuk or being on the lake somewhere watching fireworks. So in a moment of patriotism I hung up a Spanish flag in Brook and mine's apartment. I know, I know... so wrong. But then again it felt so right. Just trying to assimilate!
The 4th of July was fairly uneventful. I tried to see in the US embassy was doing anything exciting, but found no information. Funny how you realize what a big deal something is in the States and then here, people know nothing of it. That's okay though. I missed the fireworks that I usually watch at Kanakuk or being on the lake somewhere watching fireworks. So in a moment of patriotism I hung up a Spanish flag in Brook and mine's apartment. I know, I know... so wrong. But then again it felt so right. Just trying to assimilate!
Metro Strike
Oh my word! The metro of Madrid is the lifeline of the city! Without the metro things slow down and are way more crowded. With my increasing knowledge of the bus system, I decided I would beat this metro strike and just take a bus... along with the rest of Madrid! So Brook and I had this bizarre experience of being on an overcrowded bus where no one was paying for bus tickets because no one could get to the bus driver to pay for them. We literally had no room to move. Luckily for Brook and me we were at the front of the bus near the driver. He took a liking to us foreigners and shared his lunch with us. He gave us some cherries to eat and also borrowed our ipod earphones to check out the tunes we were jamming to. After we got off the crazy bus, Brook and I just started laughing so hard. I couldn't believe I ate cherries out of a strangers hand! My dad would be so disappointed!
Oh my word! The metro of Madrid is the lifeline of the city! Without the metro things slow down and are way more crowded. With my increasing knowledge of the bus system, I decided I would beat this metro strike and just take a bus... along with the rest of Madrid! So Brook and I had this bizarre experience of being on an overcrowded bus where no one was paying for bus tickets because no one could get to the bus driver to pay for them. We literally had no room to move. Luckily for Brook and me we were at the front of the bus near the driver. He took a liking to us foreigners and shared his lunch with us. He gave us some cherries to eat and also borrowed our ipod earphones to check out the tunes we were jamming to. After we got off the crazy bus, Brook and I just started laughing so hard. I couldn't believe I ate cherries out of a strangers hand! My dad would be so disappointed!
When there are meetings across from my apartment, I know they will strike!
Crowded bus!
When I took this picture some Spaniards were jokingly saying, "Oh yes, a very typical Spanish picture!" Even they hate strikes!
World Cup
There is this thing in the rest of the world called futbol. Not American football.... futbol! We would refer to it as soccer, but Americans love for soccer comes no where close to the love that the rest of the world has for it. Needless to say I caught the futbol fever over here and had an AMAZING time watching Spain win! VIVA ESPANA! The streets were chaotic and the day after the big win I joined millions (literally) of Spaniards in the streets to watch the CAMPEONES (Champions) be paraded through the streets. You just can't help but to catch the fever and sing all the chants like "Yo soy Espanol, Espanol, Espanol" (I'm Spanish) or "Si, si, si! La Copa ya esta aqui!" (Yes yes yes! The Cup is already here!).
Down by Plaza de Cibeles
Victory!
Megan T. and me celebrating!
There is this thing in the rest of the world called futbol. Not American football.... futbol! We would refer to it as soccer, but Americans love for soccer comes no where close to the love that the rest of the world has for it. Needless to say I caught the futbol fever over here and had an AMAZING time watching Spain win! VIVA ESPANA! The streets were chaotic and the day after the big win I joined millions (literally) of Spaniards in the streets to watch the CAMPEONES (Champions) be paraded through the streets. You just can't help but to catch the fever and sing all the chants like "Yo soy Espanol, Espanol, Espanol" (I'm Spanish) or "Si, si, si! La Copa ya esta aqui!" (Yes yes yes! The Cup is already here!).
Down by Plaza de CibelesVictory!
Megan T. and me celebrating!
Gran Via- Where the Champion parade was! PACKED OUT!
Esther (another j-girl) waiting to see the Champions!
Rayos-X
Rayos-X is how you would say X-rays in Spanish. Just the little things you learn when trying to get x-rays for a new doctor here! My adventure in getting my rayos-x consisted of going to a hospital down the street from my doctor's office. I didn't need an appointment; you just show up and you are in line. I had some problems understanding the directions through the hospital for where to get these rayos-x. I finally got them, they gave them to me, and I asked where I needed to pay, and had a sweet lady escort me to the front desk. Poor guiri! (guiri is a nice word for foreigner) At the front desk I was then able to pay for my x-rays and then after this took the film to my doctor's office. Whew! Quite a bit of work when I got used to going to Dr. Young's office where they did the x-rays there and had them ready to look at on the computer immediately.
Update
Things are going well as I continue with so research and contact of evangelical churches and organizations in Spain. I finished my tutoring and was so glad to get this extra help with my Spanish. Still no news on whether or not I have compartment syndrome, but I am in contact with the medical team. Hopefully I'll be able to have a test done some time soon to confirm or deny if I have this issue. Your prayers have been felt to say the least. I've been all over the place with asking a bunch of why's lately. I'll continue to trust with a blind faith. All the more reason why I need continual prayers to push forward! Let me know how you are!
In Him,
Taryn
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