Failure to Launch

One thing that is so very exciting for me is I finally received clearance from my employer to attend training next week (March 8-11)! Not only did I have to have clearance from my physician, but the medical team at the training center had to discuss if they would let me come and finish my training. Sound complicated? It probably is, and I might not even know the half of it. So between what feels like dozens of emails and contacts with doctors offices and request for specified progress reports I'll be off Sunday to Virginia! Last time I saw VA my world had been flipped upside down and everything was fuzzy. This time when I see VA, my mind will be clear even though I may be a little slow still at the walking. Your prayers are the reason I am okay to go to this training.

This entire process of healing and being home has been quite an experience. I almost feel like I have failed to launch off into the world and here I am still at home. Even though this isn't true, I'm validly at home because of medical reason, it's hard to let that sink into my head. I try to keep moving forward, but there are times when it's not fast enough. Having waited for this opportunity to do missions for over 7 years was a long enough wait. For some reason, God has allowed for me to wait a little bit more. I am a firm believer in utilizing whatever time of life you are in. I don't want to look back on these past few months and think, "What a waste of my time!" A lot of this attitude is up to me. I feel as though I have done a pretty good job of course with the leading of the Holy Spirit, but that doesn't mean I don't have moments of weakness.

These moments consist of me thinking about all of my brothers and sisters around the globe already hard at their work. They are in the midst of their language learning, and for many of them the newness of their location has worn off. I cry over their emails and the persecution of the national believers of their countries. I cry over my friends' feelings and emotions as they struggle with the language and just desire to adequately communicate the gospel. I also cry over their loneliness and can relate to that feeling on some level. And in case you were wondering, I am talking about real crying here! Life brings about disappointments, but we still have a choice to make. We can either throw a tantrum and shake our fists or we can trust Him. We can follow Him in the valleys and trust that He hasn't forgotten us.

Not once did Christ or the Word tell us we won't suffer. Quite the opposite. Suffering as a Christian should be expected. Despite my feelings that I have failed to launch (have any of you seen that movie?), God calls me daily to humble myself and do the work that I will do in Spain here. I can perfectly navigate the English language, so that means I can share the gospel without a language barrier. Pray that I will be intentional to do this wherever I am. People have yet to hear of Christ's grace here, so I would like to think that I really haven't failed to launch. I wasn't ever supposed to launch off December 28th. God doesn't count this time at home as a failure. Instead I believe it's been an opportunity to step out of my comfort zone and look around at the lostness here. Pray that I will be a bold witness as I wait on the launching pad. I still hope that my launch to Spain will be soon, but pray I won't waste any time here.

Please continue to pray for my legs to heal. My left ankle has been giving me some problems. Some of this is just due to my legs getting used to walking again. Pray my walking speed increases and that the trauma to my right leg continues to heal. March 15th I am still scheduled to have a minor surgery in my mouth. Please pray for no complications, quick healing, and limited pain. Also please pray for my visa as it processes. We are hoping it doesn't come too soon or too late! As always let me know how I can pray for you.

In Him,
Taryn