A Belated Thanksgiving

Most of you know that since the car wreck was on November 22nd I pretty much missed Thanksgiving. My parents joked that if I wanted to spend the holiday with them so badly, I should have just asked instead of forcing them to come be with me in the hospital because of the wreck. Thanksgiving was a blur to me, because I was still on heavy medications and let's be honest... hospitals aren't exactly festive! Little did I know that the Lord would allow me to experience Thanksgiving a little later than expected.

One night about a week ago, before we were home, I woke up in the middle of the night remembering that I still couldn't walk and realizing that my legs were hurting. It's a deep pain since it's bones we're dealing with here, and I just almost started to complain to myself. As I was about to justifiably (in my mind) complain, God reminded me of people all around the world. He then reminded me of how blessed I am that I am receiving the medical care that I have. Think about all we have. I had access to surgery, to a hospital to recover, to medicines, to doctors, to nurses, and to nutrition ( I won't say food just yet, since my mouth is still wired shut!), and so much more. Other places in the world if this happened, people may be crippled for the rest of their life, or a person wouldn't have the necessary care to even live. I was so ashamed of how much I had overlooked in how God has provided for me. As Americans we are too quick to assume that life here is the norm when in fact we live very blessed lives in comparison with the rest of the world. That night the Lord allowed me to have a belated Thanksgiving.

One more thing that I want to clarify is the work of the Holy Spirit in my life right now. I know so many people have applauded my ability to stay positive in the midst of everything. It is so important for me to let you know that it is the Holy Spirit alone working through me that I am at peace with everything. God is so faithful to never give us more than we can handle, and I believe in these severe instances the Holy Spirit carries us through it. I just want to always turn the glory to God because this is His story, and if His name isn't glorified in this, then I have not done what I'm supposed to as a believer in Jesus Christ. This has nothing to do with me. It is my prayer that God continues to use me.

When I left the hospital an ambulance took me to the training center I had been at previously. In the back with me was a woman a few years older than me. As I was talking to her, I was able to encourage her and tell her of God's faithfulness. She said that she really needed to hear that and recently she had really been struggling in her faith. She thanked me, and I told her I'd pray for her. The thought occurred to me the other day that this was a divine appointment. Then the other thought I had was what if all of this struggle was for this one divine appointment? Was encouraging this person worth all that I had been through? My first response was couldn't all of this reproduced something so much larger than just touching one person's life? Then God gently reminded me that this woman is absolutely, 100% worth all that I've been through just so I could remind her of how much her Creator loves her. It humbled me greatly and let me remember how much our Lord loves us. I've since then decided that if she's worth it to my Master, then she's completely worth all of this to me. Now I don't know if encouraging her is the reason for all of this, and I know God can use this for anything he wants, I just needed to make sure my heart was in the right place.

I am blessed beyond words when I hear of people I've never met that are praying for me. It also blesses me to know I have friends around the globe lifting me up. Each one of you have touched my heart in such an intimate way. Know that your prayers keep me encouraged, and your prayers keep me focused on the Lord throughout this all. Please pray for quick healing of my jaw, so that it doesn't have to stay shut! Also pray for my legs to heal in a mighty way. The sooner I'm walking the better :) My heart aches for the gospel to spread among people in Europe, and I want to be there as fast as I can helping with that work.

Let me know any of your prayer request and know how much I love you guys!

Taryn

It's Always Been Stained with Blood

Probably a little over a week ago when I left the hospital and we got me settled into our living quarters at my training center, it struck me that I hadn't seen my Bible in awhile. Now usually I try to be in the Word every day, but in the midst of sleeping, medicines, blurred vision, and pain I hadn't been able to read. It concerned me that I hadn't seen my Bible because I love this purple thinline NIV Bible I have. I've had it since my freshman year of college, and it's been through alot with me. It's even been the Bible I've slept with on those nights when I really needed to feel God's presence with me... what a better way to be with God than with His Word. I wasn't sure where it was because I knew it had been on the car wreck with me.

After asking about my Bible my mom told me that we did have it, and she gave it to me. I immediately noticed something different about it. My Bible was stained on the edges and on the inside with blood from the wreck. For whatever reason this caught me off guard as I began to cry. I guess because I can't remember the wreck it hasn't emotionally affected me a ton, but at this moment the seriousness of it all hit me. As I was tearing up my mom gave me some words of wisdom. She said, "You know I was thinking about how this Bible has blood on it, but if you think about it, it's always been stained with blood." How beautiful is that? Jesus' blood has always covered the Bible and has always covered us when we trust in Him. It gave me a new perspective on my now blood stained purple thinline NIV Bible. It's a good reminder to know that abundant life that we are promised costs everything, but God saw that the price was paid in full and with Jesus' blood.

As of now I'm doing well. My spirits are still high, and I know that's by God alone that I'm at peace. I do have times where my legs hurt or where it's a weird feeling that I can't walk right now, but our Lord is faithful. The bruises on my arm and face are fading, and my eye is looking alot better considering at one time you couldn't see the white of my eye. My mouth will be shut for 2 more weeks, so pray that I can continue to eat enough. I have dreams at night where I'm walking, then I wake up and am like... wait a second!

Please pray for safe travel since we'll be going home this weekend. I'm still going to be commissioned this Thursday WOOO WOOO! I'm so excited and overjoyed that this is just a bump in the road! God is victorious always. Please continue to pray for my family and for me. We are doing well, but I want to continue to give God glory even on the hard days. Pray for my pain, and pray that all of my paperwork to go to Spain works out okay. Right before my wreck I applied for my visa, so we are hoping my visa comes later instead of sooner so I don't have to start the process over again.

Thanks to everyone for the encouragement, the texts, the emails, the facebook messages, and so much more. Sorry I can't respond to them all, but know you have lifted me up to the Lord in such a strong way. I love to hear from you guys and hopefully I'll be in better communication now that I'm getting stronger. I'm even starting to look more like myself again! I'm so thankful that none of this is permanent... I'm truly blessed.

Love you all!
Taryn

The In Between

Sorry I haven't blogged in a long time. As many of you know I was in a bad car wreck November 22nd. The 30th I was released from the hospital. Right now I am at the place where I had been training, and my mom is here taking care of me. My injuries include 2 broken legs, a broken tail bone, and a broken jaw (quite difficult to talk and eat!, my eating consists of liquids). Please pray for the healing of my body. We aren't sure yet what this means as far as my going overseas, but we are waiting patiently on the Lord.

As far as the wreck goes, I am very blessed because I don't remember anything. I don't even remember the car starting to swerve. A man accidentally came over into our lane, and my team member Brook turned so we wouldn't get hit. We then hit several trees and the car was totalled. Brook is doing okay, she has a broken wrist and glass in her arm. It's been a little bit harder for her as far as remembering because while she was awake, I wasn't responding to her. A pretty scary feeling. We were then both airlifted to different hospitals, but it took them awhile to figure out who I was. My parents were contacted and then drove with Brook's mom to Virginia. They weren't able to fly for various reasons, but got here as fast as they could.

My first day or two in the hospital were a blur, but I know God was protecting me from the pain. Whenever you go through something like this people automatically want to know if you are angry or upset with God. The truth is that I'm not at all angry or upset with him. Who am I to question what God allows? Who am I to question his timeline? I have quickly started to realize that in our faith there is NO IN BETWEEN. I either trust God completely, or I don't trust him at all. I would challenge you to consider this. Do I trust him even though my body is broken and all of my plans have changed? For me the only option is to continue on in trust. I will not curse my heavenly Father, and I will not doubt him. Sometimes I may question it and not understand, but I will not turn away from him. His ways are so much bigger than ours. What will it take for us to know that? I know that the evil one would love no more than to see us defeated as Christians or to see us angry at God for our circumstances. I know this is a lie, and I choose to believe that God's name will be exalted higher than before because of this. For those of you that know me, you know that I was in a bad car accident also when I was 17. This is interesting because this wreck happened right before I went on my first mission trip. My wreck now has happened right before I am supposed to do international missions for 2 years. Satan does not want God's name to be proclaimed, but we will continue to proclaim it anyways!

I pray that God's name is lifted up on my lips and on yours. Please consider the in between. If you think you are in the in between, maybe you should think again. I strongly believe there isn't an in between. It's all or nothing.

Your prayers mean so much to me, more than you know. All of the emails and messages are so special to me. Sorry if I don't get back to you because of the volume in which I've received them, and because I haven't been on the computer. Keep praying that the Holy Spirit strengthens my family and me. We need it right now in this storm. I'm so thankful that God's always in control though.

Love you guys,
Taryn

I LIVED!

This past week we have had our security training, and I am happy to inform that I lived! Were there moments that I questioned my survival... absolutely. Were there times of fear... sure. I know that some of you who have gone through the training can vouch for what I'm saying and may share some of the same feelings that I have. After the training I became more and more thankful that this security prepartion given to me. It makes me realize how much our lives our valued and how to always represent Christ, no matter our "security" situation.

It's interesting when we look in the Bible and see how many times there are "security threats." I know that no one has seen those words in the Bible, but Paul might describe parts of his life as being in a security threat situation. Jesus Christ was also brought forth on unjust trials where he knew how to answer correctly despite the slander against his name. Thanks for the prayers for this training, and thanks for your giving to Lottie Moon that allows for this training to be paid for and given to me. I know I'm thankful for it (as I'm sure are my parents!).

Please keep me in your prayers as I leave tomorrow at 3 a.m. (yes, 3 a.m.) to fly to Houston to apply for my visa with my friend Meredith. Pray for sleep on the airplane and an easy application processs. Also please keep in your prayers that Brook's paperwork would come so she can go and apply for her visa. You guys are a blessing.

Taryn

The Prayer of a Child

A few weeks ago during our Sunday night cultural worship people gathered around and prayed for those going to work with American peoples around the globe. This was such a special time for people to hold my hand and pray over me and the work that God is doing around the globe. During the prayer as peoples' hands were placed on my arms and shoulders, I felt a little hand on the small of my back. By estimating the placement and size of the hand I determined that it must be a child, and throughout the prayer the child squirmed and moved about.

At the end of this prayer I was overcome with the blessing of being prayed for. It's such an intimate thing when people surround you in prayer and intercede to the Lord for you. Another time I felt this blessing was when I was in the Amazon and people prayed over my call to missions. I finally looked down to discover who the squirming culprit was, and it was a little boy. He looked up at me with such a serious face and grabbed onto my leg and gave me the biggest hug. My heart of course melted and maybe I even teared up a little. I was reminded of God's word when he tells us to have faith like a child. I was blessed because I could tell by the look on his face that he had been praying for me in that moment. How beautiful is it to have a faithful child to intercede for me? How amazing is it that God creates all of us big and little to desire to come before him and make our request known?

Later on I told the little boy's mother of the event, and she smiled and assured me that he will keep on praying for me because he's such a prayer warrior. One day in their house church he prayed boldly for all of the people in the city where he's going to know the name of the Lord, even in the time frame of one day! Do I pray like this? Do I intercede for others with the faith and power that the Lord has given us? I hope I do (and pray I do)!

Please keep praying for me because I need you guys to! The evil one hates us, and he hates what I'm going to go do. Pray that the Lord will give me the grace and faith to trust him in all things. Pray that the Lord is making pathways in Spain right now, so that others may know the powerful name of Jesus and so that they may believe.

I always love hearing from you guys. Let me know how I can pray for you.
Taryn

Why Do You Speak Our Language?

I have been sitting in class a lot lately... and by a lot I mean that I feel like I'm back in grade school without a recess break. I'm not complaining, because I feel so blessed to have this opportunity to learn so much, but let's be honest; some things make it in and some things don't!

There have been a few things recently that have made it into my mind, and I can't get them out. The other day we were watching a video of some missionaries about my age in Africa. These women worked alongside the Africans during the day, dressed like them, ate as they did, and lived as they did, grass hut and all. They laughed as they joked about mosquitoes (which we all know isn't quite a laughing matter if you've even had malaria), and their tired countenance showed the manual work that they had been doing. They were worn down physically, but a light still shined in their eyes.

Now when these girls first arrived at this village, one of their main goals was to learn the language of the people there, or their heart language. This made such an impact on the villagers that they asked these girls "why do you speak our language?" Now Americans can be notorious for being arrogant about language learning (even in the stereotypical sense) especially in situations overseas, so this question from the Africans didn't come as a shock to me. The response of the missionaries did however shock me even though it shouldn't have. One of the girls very quickly responded, "Because Jesus speaks your language."

How many times do we Americanize the gospel or think it should be understood only in English? How many times do we forget that God created all languages therefore he knows them and desires for the nations to know his Word. This is one of the most beautiful messages of the gospel. God sent his son for the world because he loves the world. If we go to such great lengths to proclaim the gospel in peoples' mother language, then why don't we utilize the language we already know and proclaim it to other English speakers. It can be difficult, but we must recognize that nationals are able to share the gospel with nationals the best. That includes us in America. We speak the same language as everyone around us (just about), so we can best communicate with those around us.

I am reminded daily while at training that the harvest is plenty but the workers are few. It's challenging, but it's necessary. I'm not even asking you to learn another language (even though I think it would be useful for anyone). I'm just encouraging us to use what we already know to impact others. Until we face a language barrier, we don't realize what a gift communication is, and what a gift it is that we a serve a God who can understand us no matter who we are or what language we speak.

You guys are great, and I appreciate the prayers. I'll try to update more! Things just go by so quickly here. Please be praying about Lottie Moon Christmas offerings. This is the lifeblood of the IMB and crucial to sending people around the world to say Jesus' name in other languages!

Love everyone so much!
Taryn

Isn't This Simple?

During my time at training, we have been assigned to groups that we meet with on a regular basis. These groups consist of 10-15 individuals. This is also the group I meet with for church. Many places around the world this is what a house church looks like. Especially in areas where the gospel is not supposed to be preached, people MUST meet secretly to study God's word. Oh and did I mention, there's not a designated building?

I have always loved church, and I have grown up in church. I love my church home, and I miss it when I'm away. That being said I will add that I have also been so blessed by this house church experience. There are people of all ages in it, and some house churches have multiple children (which from what I hear makes a very interesting Sunday morning!) House church has been refreshing and a place where I feel like I can be transparent with other believers. How many of us feel that way at our home churches that are filled with hundreds of people? I know that this is the reason for Sunday school classes, Bible studies, and cell groups, but have we overcomplicated church?

There is such a beauty and showing up each week alternating who's leading and allowing for the Spirit to move. Sometimes it's a more emotional day for some, and sometimes people have been led to share. I feel like we take this liberty away from ourselves when we go to church and don't allow ourselves to be seen as we are. I know there have been times where I have chosen to not be transparent and vulnerable. Sometimes it's because I don't want to be. The simplicity of house church through all of these aspects has opened my heart to realizing the areas where I need to work on being a stronger part of the body of Christ. It also challenges me that as I go into the world, it is not necessary for me to model to new believers that they must have an order of worship each Sunday. In some parts of the world these house churches meet daily, working together as a family and as the body of Christ.

I know this is a very different concept from what we experience in the States, but it's an interesting thing to follow throughout the New Testament. It has been an amazing experience, and I feel blessed to be with those in this little church that we make up. Simple worship of our Father. No matter where we worship it has to be about him, but like I said, isn't this simple? I hope everyone at some point gets to have an experience like this.

I am traveling to Houston the 20th of November for my visa application. Please pray that it goes well. Also check out my team's blog. The link on the left side should say Spain Prayer Update. One of the couple's arrived in Madrid today, so please pray that they settle down easily!

Y'all are such an encouragement!
Taryn