I am in great need of prayer from you. In my last doctor’s visit, the doctor expressed concern that I need more surgery soon. I had to some degree prepared myself for surgery in the future such as the possible removal of the pins in my legs and the plate in my jaw. I was thinking this could be in the next year and half or 2 years. This assessment from this doctor, however, came as a shock. He believes I may have compartment syndrome in my left leg. This is based off of my symptoms of unalleviated pain in this leg. He was talking about surgery as soon as September. I am, of course, seeking out a second opinion and am communication with my supervisor. We are starting communication with the medical team at the IMB, so we can figure out what exactly in going on in my body. I am hoping that no surgery is necessary and that if it is necessary it will be minor and not too invasive.
My heart is heavy, and I am overwhelmed by the thought of more surgery. I have many concerns about my job and my ability to continue on if I have to have surgery. For all of these reasons I am asking that you pray for me. Pray for wisdom for the doctors I encounter, for clear communication, and for peace in my heart. After I received this news Thursday, I spent most of the day by myself talking with God, and honestly, several hours crying. I am reminded that as believers in Christ, we are called to bring praise to the Father despite our circumstances. He calls us to suffer well. This means despite our pain and heartache, His glory is first. This isn’t easy for me to accept this, but pray that the Holy Spirit gives me the strength I need. There is a great importance in suffering well. It’s for the fame of our Lord.
For His fame and not mine,
Taryn
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Sunday, July 4, 2010
July Update
Watching the US/Ghana soccer game with Brooke- a new friend that interned here the first part of the summer!
The bear climbing a tree in Sol- this is the symbol for Madrid
Retir0 Park
Retiro park with a bench that says "Nobody is illegal"- random!
Brook, Brooke, and me on the metro
Why? Where? What?
There are several questions I am constantly asked by people like why I’m in Spain, where I work, and what exactly I do. Many times since I am talking to Europeans this can be a tricky question to answer. The word “missionary” carries a negative connotation here, so I choose another way to explain the work I do. I tell people I’m here in Spain to research information on Latino immigrants in Europe. I tell them the company I work for is out of the U.S. and that I don’t have an office building I go to.
This answer leads to many confused looks which allows me to further explain that the company I work for wants to help better peoples’ lives. Europeans seem to be okay with “bettering” lives. As time progresses, I can tell more about my job I am able to explain what this “bettering” of life looks like.
It’s tough because being outward and bold here is not about shoving the gospel in someone’s face. It very much is about relationships and showing that your life is different. I pray daily, even though I’m sinful, that the light of Christ shines through.
There are many things about me that are different from Spaniards. For instance Spaniards think it is so bizarre I don’t drink or smoke. I pray that they don’t think these differences are only moral preferences or because of legalistic ideas. I pray that they see past these differences into the change that Christ has made in my life. Please pray this with me.
Latino immigrants that I’ve encountered for the most part have been open in sharing their experiences. Some of them constantly face discrimination from the police and still feel as though they are not treated equally.
Please pray that these experiences will open up their hearts to our God who values us so much that he made a way for us to have a relationship with him. Please pray for a person of peace (someone open to the gospel) and for the team members trying to start churches among Latinos in Madrid. I will start traveling throughout Spain at the end of July to gather first hand information about immigrants. Please pray for people I encounter and for chances to share the Gospel.
Are you from Sevilla?
As far as language goes I am doing very well! I did a language evaluation this past week and my language coach, Julie Clifton, said I did well enough that I don’t need to continue with more language class (thank you mom for making me minor in Spanish!). This last week I met with a Spanish tutor, Luis, who is a believer. I’ll get to finish a few more language sessions with him this week.
I was very encouraged because Luis said there isn’t a problem for me in communication. I just need to work on details in the language. For instance in English we say “I like food.” In Spanish you always say “Me gusta la comida” which means “I like the food.” You can never leave out the “the.” These are the minor details I’m working on! On top of that I’m learning Spanish phrases or sayings. One thing they say similar to our “you’re pulling my leg” is “you’re pulling my hair.” These random things are fun to learn.
There are days where I feel like I’m conquering the language and other days where I wonder if I’ll ever get it! Recently Brook and I were asking for directions and a man asked us if we were from Sevilla, another city in Spain. I was excited because even though we have accents, he thought we were native Spanish speakers! Gotta love the little victories!
Physical Progress Update:
I have found and visited an English speaking doctor. He suggested that I begin more therapy and prescribed me some more medicines. The bad thing is that I had a reaction to one of the medicines. I’m okay, but please pray that I don’t have any more problems like this. I plan on blogging about my visit to the doctor and my adventure in getting some X-Rays, or Rayos X! You never know what vocabulary you need in a language until you are without it!
PRAYER REQUESTS
Legs– for swelling to go down/ no pain
Continued practice of language
For evangelical contacts– to help know about Latino populations in specific cities Barcelona, Burgos, Valencia, and Sevilla.
Memorization of Spanish Scripture
PRAISES!
I now have a doctor here!
Language is progressing
Let me know how to pray for you!
Thursday, June 24, 2010
A Day in the Life
Just a few things that are part of my day to day life in Spain:
1) Delinut (the off brand, cheaper version of Nutella/ chocolate hazelnut spread)
1) Delinut (the off brand, cheaper version of Nutella/ chocolate hazelnut spread)
2) Always smelling like cigarette smoke. Tons of Europeans smoke
3) Even seeing pregnant women smoking... crazy, I know.
4) Hearing "Hola Guapa!" (Hello Beautiful) just because I'm an American.
5) Walking through the metro stations hearing performers sing American songs even though they aren't really singing English. They make sounds that are similar to English words.
6) Buying milk off the shelf (not refrigerated)
7) Always trying to understand my portero (doorman). He has a THICK accent.
8) Having moments where I realize the vast lostness of this place.
9) Going out to watch the World Cup at a cafe with a TV because soccer (futbol) is SOOOOO important here!
10) Hearing Backstreet Boys or N'SYNC playing in clothing stores. Pretty sure some of the songs were popular 10 years ago when I was 14.
11) Public transportation with all kinds of smells. I'll leave the rest to your imagination.
My metro stop- Avenida de America
12) Having Spaniards constantly ask me what I think about Obama.
13) I had a Spaniard tell me I look Spanish! I enjoyed that.
14) Constantly fighting the temptation to stop in every pasteleria I encounter (bakery)
15) Praying for grace in knowing how to share God's love
16) Trying to find people to smile at on the metro... one day after I smiled at a lady her entire face lit up. Loved it.
17) Going to intercambio nights- where Spaniards want to practice their English and where you can practice your Spanish. I've come to enjoy this.
18) Learning the many meanings behind Spaniards' hand motions.
19) Cafe con leche- coffee with milk
20) No air-conditioning
21) TINY elevators
22) Living in an apartment with a Nickelodeon orange couch
23) Not having a clothes dryer
24) Falling asleep to the sound of street noise
25) Seeing an overweight man dressed up as Spiderman
26) Walking everywhere
27) Being misunderstood and constantly misunderstanding
28) Going out at midnight because that's early for Spaniards
29) Eating later for every meal
30) Getting excited about finding food items like sour cream
31) Seeing how closely cars park
32) Discovering daily how badly I need the strength of God to do this job
33) Hearing from you guys and my parents saying you ask about me/are praying for me
Well I think that does it for now! It's kind of funny because all of those things have already started to become normal for me. Lots of love and let me know how you are!
In Him,
Taryn
Monday, June 7, 2010
Plan A
Thank you all for praying for the concert at the Ecuadorian gathering. Actually, it didn't end up being a concert at all. Plans had to be quickly changed because of a major triathlon in Casa de Campo. The Ecuadorian gathering still happened, but there was nowhere for the band to set up to play and even the other groups that are usually playing weren't there. Because of God's blessings there was still a group of Samford students who were able to walk through the food stands and where people were sitting to engage with some of the immigrants. We are praying that the contacts that were made will be with people who are interested in the Bible and interested in knowing more about Christ.
For Brook and me it was such a great opportunity to finally spend some time talking with immigrants. We found three women sitting under a tree and sat down to talk with them about their life here. They have been in Madrid for 15, 10, and 8 years. Not being new to the area we were able to get information on what they thought about the schools here, the work they have, and life in general. One thing that broke my heart is how they said they can be treated by police, especially on public transportation. Because of accents and physical features, Latinos sometimes stick out so police will stop them demanding that they see their papers. This is a disheartening thing for legal and illegal immigrants. These women, who say they have all their papers, said it's a pain for them. They even said their children are treated differently in schools. When they asked us if we had any problems with the police, I almost felt ashamed to say that we don't have any problems. This conversation reminded me of the ugly face of discrimination. It's not just a matter of having your papers if your children are being treated negatively in schools. No one likes being talked down to, and this seems to be an issue that many immigrants face.
We told them that we were here in Spain to learn about the life of Latinos here and to know ways we can help. We talked to them some about church and then gave each of them a tract sharing the Gospel directed towards immigrants. I'm learning that conversations like these aren't always meant to get to the punch line of "will you now accept Christ as your Savior?" Sometimes these conversations are about letting the Holy Spirit lead and work in the hearts of those you are talking to and encouraging.
Gary Clifton, who's part of the Diaspora team in Madrid, directed the Samford students in how to engage in conversations. He said it best when all the plans changed for the concert. He said that going around meeting people without a concert may have been our plan B, but more than likely it was God's plan A. There was initial concern about how the music would be perceived by the Ecuadorians, so God knows best. We don't know the reason why our plans change, but sometimes it's the leading of the Spirit. I've seen a lot of my plans A,B,C and D get changed over the past several months. I would even say where I am now wasn't even on the list of plans. It didn't even make it onto plan Z. I can always trust, however, that the way things occur are God's plan A. This means it should be my plan A too.
Brook and I were able to go later to Plaza Mayor where this volunteer group who were supposed to do the concert set up and sang for awhile. Spaniards gathered around and at the end of several songs some testimonies were shared. When someone starts talking about Christ, people can be quickly turned off. Some people even got up to leave, and I felt physically ill realizing they were walking away from truth. The wonderful thing is that some people stayed. Whether they were listening or even cared at all, they still received information in their hands about Christ. Pray that these Spaniards who received these tracts still have them. Pray that the Spirit leads and softens their hearts to read the information and to find out more about Him. It is a very lost world over here, and it's a dry place. Pray for a great awakening of hearts here among Spaniards and Latino immigrants.
Seeking Plan A daily,
Taryn
For Brook and me it was such a great opportunity to finally spend some time talking with immigrants. We found three women sitting under a tree and sat down to talk with them about their life here. They have been in Madrid for 15, 10, and 8 years. Not being new to the area we were able to get information on what they thought about the schools here, the work they have, and life in general. One thing that broke my heart is how they said they can be treated by police, especially on public transportation. Because of accents and physical features, Latinos sometimes stick out so police will stop them demanding that they see their papers. This is a disheartening thing for legal and illegal immigrants. These women, who say they have all their papers, said it's a pain for them. They even said their children are treated differently in schools. When they asked us if we had any problems with the police, I almost felt ashamed to say that we don't have any problems. This conversation reminded me of the ugly face of discrimination. It's not just a matter of having your papers if your children are being treated negatively in schools. No one likes being talked down to, and this seems to be an issue that many immigrants face.
We told them that we were here in Spain to learn about the life of Latinos here and to know ways we can help. We talked to them some about church and then gave each of them a tract sharing the Gospel directed towards immigrants. I'm learning that conversations like these aren't always meant to get to the punch line of "will you now accept Christ as your Savior?" Sometimes these conversations are about letting the Holy Spirit lead and work in the hearts of those you are talking to and encouraging.
Gary Clifton, who's part of the Diaspora team in Madrid, directed the Samford students in how to engage in conversations. He said it best when all the plans changed for the concert. He said that going around meeting people without a concert may have been our plan B, but more than likely it was God's plan A. There was initial concern about how the music would be perceived by the Ecuadorians, so God knows best. We don't know the reason why our plans change, but sometimes it's the leading of the Spirit. I've seen a lot of my plans A,B,C and D get changed over the past several months. I would even say where I am now wasn't even on the list of plans. It didn't even make it onto plan Z. I can always trust, however, that the way things occur are God's plan A. This means it should be my plan A too.
Brook and I were able to go later to Plaza Mayor where this volunteer group who were supposed to do the concert set up and sang for awhile. Spaniards gathered around and at the end of several songs some testimonies were shared. When someone starts talking about Christ, people can be quickly turned off. Some people even got up to leave, and I felt physically ill realizing they were walking away from truth. The wonderful thing is that some people stayed. Whether they were listening or even cared at all, they still received information in their hands about Christ. Pray that these Spaniards who received these tracts still have them. Pray that the Spirit leads and softens their hearts to read the information and to find out more about Him. It is a very lost world over here, and it's a dry place. Pray for a great awakening of hearts here among Spaniards and Latino immigrants.
Seeking Plan A daily,
Taryn
Friday, June 4, 2010
June Update
The Process of Preparing:
This past month was a full month! It’s so easy for time to slip away between language school and doing internet research on Latino immigrants in Europe. We have made progress and are finalizing the population information we have found. My supervisor has told Brook and me that the information we compile about Latino immigrants will be what the IMB uses to determine where they need to send more personnel to reach Latinos! When he told us that, I was amazed that I get to be a part of this. I get to help prepare the way! It’s a humbling thought as well.
This month Brook and I will be creating interview formats for one on one conversations with immigrants. From these interviews we hope to discover the level of evangelization of Latinos. This is essential in knowing how we can best share the gospel and how many of the immigrants are plugging into evangelical churches here. Please pray that we determine the right questions to ask and that when we actually begin the interviews, we can begin sharing the gospel as well.
This month of language school was a definite help for me. I’m not exactly sure what language study will look like for me this month, but I’m working on finding a language partner. Hopefully this can be someone I can meet with and practice my Spanish. Conversation is the most helpful when learning a language. I am beginning to memorize key Bible verses in Spanish that will allow me to share the gospel. Specifically I’m working on John 3:16 and the verses used in the Roman’s Road. I get excited thinking that one day I’ll get to share these.
A lot of the work going on now is preparation. I prepare research; I prepare language; I prepare interview formats. Others on my team are doing a lot of preparation as well. By doing preparation it’s easy to get restless and ready to see people come to Christ. I’m learning what it means to wait on the Lord and what it means to be Trailblazer. Those who blaze the trail may not get to reap the harvest, but no matter when the harvest occurs it will be a beautiful one that shows the glory of the Father.
A Change in Plans
One of the things the IMB emphasized at training was the importance of being flexible. Flexibility most definitely explains the team I’m on! Between waiting on visas, car accidents, visa rejections, and inability to obtain proper visas things change! Timelines change and locations change.
Jim and Lori Spikes, who originally were supposed to be arriving in Barcelona, have been waiting on their visa for months only to find that Lori’s was denied. The reason for the denial wasn’t really a good reason. Now they are heading to London and already have their visas! We all keep saying that the Lord must want them in London instead of in Barcelona. So now with the Spikes location changed, the Woodson’s location change, and the Halls already being assigned to London, we have quite a team there! Pray that doors will open up for them as they move to London and begin making contacts.
An exciting opportunity coming up this Sunday is that a group from the U.S. is going to give a concert at a park here in Madrid. Ecuadorians gather in this particular park (Casa de Campo) on the weekends. We are hoping that people are drawn to the music and that they’ll stay and listen to the testimonies that are scheduled in between songs. Pray that people will be able to listen to the music and testimonies because other bands are playing during this time.
Physical Progress Update: Planning on visiting a doctor soon for follow up on my legs. Still having muscular pain and going to see if they have any suggestions of ways I can alleviate that. God reminds me to be thankful for my location and that my job allows me to continue to heal physically.
PRAYER REQUESTS
That I find a language partner
Legs– for swelling to go down/ no pain
Concert at Ecuadorian gathering in the park-this Sunday
That I find a doctor (preferably that speaks English!)
Praises!
Internet Research is being compiled and organized (YIPEE!)
The Spikes will be going to London soon!
Please let me know how to pray for you!
Lots of love,
Taryn
This past month was a full month! It’s so easy for time to slip away between language school and doing internet research on Latino immigrants in Europe. We have made progress and are finalizing the population information we have found. My supervisor has told Brook and me that the information we compile about Latino immigrants will be what the IMB uses to determine where they need to send more personnel to reach Latinos! When he told us that, I was amazed that I get to be a part of this. I get to help prepare the way! It’s a humbling thought as well.
This month Brook and I will be creating interview formats for one on one conversations with immigrants. From these interviews we hope to discover the level of evangelization of Latinos. This is essential in knowing how we can best share the gospel and how many of the immigrants are plugging into evangelical churches here. Please pray that we determine the right questions to ask and that when we actually begin the interviews, we can begin sharing the gospel as well.
This month of language school was a definite help for me. I’m not exactly sure what language study will look like for me this month, but I’m working on finding a language partner. Hopefully this can be someone I can meet with and practice my Spanish. Conversation is the most helpful when learning a language. I am beginning to memorize key Bible verses in Spanish that will allow me to share the gospel. Specifically I’m working on John 3:16 and the verses used in the Roman’s Road. I get excited thinking that one day I’ll get to share these.
A lot of the work going on now is preparation. I prepare research; I prepare language; I prepare interview formats. Others on my team are doing a lot of preparation as well. By doing preparation it’s easy to get restless and ready to see people come to Christ. I’m learning what it means to wait on the Lord and what it means to be Trailblazer. Those who blaze the trail may not get to reap the harvest, but no matter when the harvest occurs it will be a beautiful one that shows the glory of the Father.
A Change in Plans
One of the things the IMB emphasized at training was the importance of being flexible. Flexibility most definitely explains the team I’m on! Between waiting on visas, car accidents, visa rejections, and inability to obtain proper visas things change! Timelines change and locations change.
Jim and Lori Spikes, who originally were supposed to be arriving in Barcelona, have been waiting on their visa for months only to find that Lori’s was denied. The reason for the denial wasn’t really a good reason. Now they are heading to London and already have their visas! We all keep saying that the Lord must want them in London instead of in Barcelona. So now with the Spikes location changed, the Woodson’s location change, and the Halls already being assigned to London, we have quite a team there! Pray that doors will open up for them as they move to London and begin making contacts.
An exciting opportunity coming up this Sunday is that a group from the U.S. is going to give a concert at a park here in Madrid. Ecuadorians gather in this particular park (Casa de Campo) on the weekends. We are hoping that people are drawn to the music and that they’ll stay and listen to the testimonies that are scheduled in between songs. Pray that people will be able to listen to the music and testimonies because other bands are playing during this time.
Physical Progress Update: Planning on visiting a doctor soon for follow up on my legs. Still having muscular pain and going to see if they have any suggestions of ways I can alleviate that. God reminds me to be thankful for my location and that my job allows me to continue to heal physically.
PRAYER REQUESTS
That I find a language partner
Legs– for swelling to go down/ no pain
Concert at Ecuadorian gathering in the park-this Sunday
That I find a doctor (preferably that speaks English!)
Praises!
Internet Research is being compiled and organized (YIPEE!)
The Spikes will be going to London soon!
Please let me know how to pray for you!
Lots of love,
Taryn
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Brave Face
More often than not I look up and think to myself, "What in the world happened?" Daily I still face discomfort from healing muscles and bones. As soon as I step out onto the sidewalk of Avenida de America, my battle begins. It's not just a physical battle as much as it's a spiritual battle. My knees feel weak and ache as I walk down the stairs to the metro to go to class in Sol. My mind becomes quickly clouded with thoughts of doubts and frustrations. Few see or know about the internal battle that occurs. Instead of showing what's inside I'd rather hide behind my brave face. When you put on a brave face, it makes it so much better, or so you think. You don't have to admit to your shortcomings, and you don't have to admit that you need help.
I have found yet another fault of mine. I love putting on a brave face. I'd rather deal with whatever difficulty is occuring on my own than inconvenience others or feel as though they are having to worry with me. I hate my feelings of inadequacy, and I most certainly hate asking for help. Recently I have been reminded by several people that this is incorrect thinking. God created the church and body of believers to function to carry one anothers burdens. He created us to be in this community so we don't shoulder everything on our own. I have done a horrible job of asking for help and have been shouldering the weight of everything on my own.
I refuse to admit to the pain I experience. I expect complete healing even though doctors thought I'd just now be walking again. I refuse to admit to the questions swarming in my head about why all of this had to happen and the purpose behind it. When people try to give me answers, nothing is good enough. So I'd rather carry the emotional difficulty on my own. Part of this is because I look at the world around me and consider the pain that I've seen others go through and I see people in the midst of trials. When I look at this, I see my pain as so small in comparision to what others face. This is incorrect thinking to push aside taking care of myself, because pain is pain. No matter the level, it still affects us and changes us. We aren't meant to live in denial of our circumstances. We are called, however, to give our trials over to the Lord and to trust Him with our lives.
So as I drink a huge glass of humility, I ask for forgiveness in putting on a brave face. I think I'd really hate for people to see how broken I have been and still feel. I'd hate for people to see the vulnerable side. The brave side seems so much better and stronger. One time last year I was talking with a good friend, Willie. Feeling frustrated about some circumstances at the time I told him I was ready to no longer feel broken. I expressed how much I hated feeling broken. Willie, in his wisdom, commented back to me that we must always REMAIN broken. He said that when we are broken is when God can use us the most.
With that said, I'm taking off my brave face. I'm letting you know that the experience of the past several months has broken me. I'm letting you know that I have alot of "why's" circling in my head. But I'm also letting you know that I'm still following the Lord daily and asking for His mercies over me. I'm in Spain to do a job. God knew that almost a year ago when I took this job that all that has happened would occur. In spite of these facts, God still called me to this job. He requires obedience of me, and I will obey. He also requires brokeness of me. He requires for me to realize that nothing in me can accomplish the task ahead. Maybe this is so I can't doubt that He's the one at work. Willie was right about staying broken. God uses our brokeness in the most beautiful way. Who else uses the weak and broken-hearted? Our Father does.
I am learning to better pace myself and own up to the physical limitations I still have. I am also learning how to emotionally process the tough stuff that's out there. This includes my situation and the situations of other friends around me. Satan would love for us to remain in doubt of the Lord, but I will push forward and want to encourage others to do the same. I am taking off the brave face, so that others can see it's okay to do the same. We all really are broken, but we love to hide that. Our brokeness is the very thing that God redeems us from. By hiding our brokeness we miss out on the opportunity for God to receive glory by the work He does in us.
I cannot thank you enough for your prayers. I have moments where I almost feel normal again. Maybe these are the very moments when you are interceding for me. Your prayers are felt this side of the globe. Let me know how I can be praying for you.
A Broken Servant,
Taryn
I have found yet another fault of mine. I love putting on a brave face. I'd rather deal with whatever difficulty is occuring on my own than inconvenience others or feel as though they are having to worry with me. I hate my feelings of inadequacy, and I most certainly hate asking for help. Recently I have been reminded by several people that this is incorrect thinking. God created the church and body of believers to function to carry one anothers burdens. He created us to be in this community so we don't shoulder everything on our own. I have done a horrible job of asking for help and have been shouldering the weight of everything on my own.
I refuse to admit to the pain I experience. I expect complete healing even though doctors thought I'd just now be walking again. I refuse to admit to the questions swarming in my head about why all of this had to happen and the purpose behind it. When people try to give me answers, nothing is good enough. So I'd rather carry the emotional difficulty on my own. Part of this is because I look at the world around me and consider the pain that I've seen others go through and I see people in the midst of trials. When I look at this, I see my pain as so small in comparision to what others face. This is incorrect thinking to push aside taking care of myself, because pain is pain. No matter the level, it still affects us and changes us. We aren't meant to live in denial of our circumstances. We are called, however, to give our trials over to the Lord and to trust Him with our lives.
So as I drink a huge glass of humility, I ask for forgiveness in putting on a brave face. I think I'd really hate for people to see how broken I have been and still feel. I'd hate for people to see the vulnerable side. The brave side seems so much better and stronger. One time last year I was talking with a good friend, Willie. Feeling frustrated about some circumstances at the time I told him I was ready to no longer feel broken. I expressed how much I hated feeling broken. Willie, in his wisdom, commented back to me that we must always REMAIN broken. He said that when we are broken is when God can use us the most.
With that said, I'm taking off my brave face. I'm letting you know that the experience of the past several months has broken me. I'm letting you know that I have alot of "why's" circling in my head. But I'm also letting you know that I'm still following the Lord daily and asking for His mercies over me. I'm in Spain to do a job. God knew that almost a year ago when I took this job that all that has happened would occur. In spite of these facts, God still called me to this job. He requires obedience of me, and I will obey. He also requires brokeness of me. He requires for me to realize that nothing in me can accomplish the task ahead. Maybe this is so I can't doubt that He's the one at work. Willie was right about staying broken. God uses our brokeness in the most beautiful way. Who else uses the weak and broken-hearted? Our Father does.
I am learning to better pace myself and own up to the physical limitations I still have. I am also learning how to emotionally process the tough stuff that's out there. This includes my situation and the situations of other friends around me. Satan would love for us to remain in doubt of the Lord, but I will push forward and want to encourage others to do the same. I am taking off the brave face, so that others can see it's okay to do the same. We all really are broken, but we love to hide that. Our brokeness is the very thing that God redeems us from. By hiding our brokeness we miss out on the opportunity for God to receive glory by the work He does in us.
I cannot thank you enough for your prayers. I have moments where I almost feel normal again. Maybe these are the very moments when you are interceding for me. Your prayers are felt this side of the globe. Let me know how I can be praying for you.
A Broken Servant,
Taryn
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Cracked
Whew! Time certainly flies by, and I just realized that I have passed mid-May! I can't believe I've been here now for a month. I'm getting settled in and am enjoying life here in Madrid. I have 2 more weeks of language school, and Brook and I have begun our internet research on Latino immigrants in Europe. The plan is for us to sift through population data to determine where Latinos are. From this information we will strategically select, with our supervisor, the "gateway" cities with the most Latinos. After we decide this, we will create interviw formats for when we encounter Latinos in these selected cities or countries. Our interview formats will hopefully lead to spiritual conversations or just a better understanding of the level of evangelization of the immigrants and what they are doing outside of their home country. With this information that we collect, we hope that new personnel will be appointed to these gateway cities for follow up and for further evangelization and church planting. Brook and I truly are Trailblazers (the title of our job) because we are here to lay the foundation for those who come after us.
I have been excited to get to work! It has been a relief to feel as though I'm a part of a team that is doing an amazing work for God. How neat is it when we get to be part of something so much larger than our own personal plans? One thing about being a native English speaker is that many people want to speak English or practice English. I had an opportunity to meet up with a Chinese lady the other day because she so badly wanted to practice her English. Pray that I take opportunities like this to share God's love and the truth about Christ.
Something funny about transportation in Spain is that people really don't talk to each other in public unless they know one another. This makes for a comical situation on the metro. For instance there are performers on the metro that carry speakers with them so they can sing for money. Sometimes there are others who just ride the metro all day long begging for money. One particular day I was fortunate enough (haha) to get on the metro car with a lady who was singing her heart out. It wasn't that she was a bad singer as much as she sang with such passion, and NO ONE even cracked a smile. Everyone was so serious pretending as though she wasn't singing or that she even existed. The song was peppy and update and she expressed this through her voice. I got so tickled that I started giggling and couldn't stop! Usually I have better self control, but the irony of everyone acting as though nothing was happening got to me. A guy, about my age, sitting across from me kept making eye contact with me, probably initially because he realized I wasn't a Spaniard (they have no problem recognizing I'm American). The funny thing is when I started to laugh and kept laughing, he did too! Before I even knew it we both had a fit of the giggles while everyone remained straight-faced as if nothing was happening. I mean, seriously! A lady is walking up and down the car singing, and people remain expressionless. I felt a bond with this guy and I commented to him about how serious Spaniards were. He laughed again and agreed with me saying that Spain can be a serious country.
I felt such an accomplishment because I cracked a Spaniard! Despite their attempts to remain very formal and serious in the metro, someone my age could relate to the funny situation we were in, and he even cracked a smile and laughed with me. This moment reminded me of how easily we hide what's on the inside. On the outside we can appear confident, happy, and successful, but the truth is on the inside we may have none of these things. On the outside we can act as though there isn't a lady singing a passionate song, but on the inside we can be laughing at how ridiculous she is. I have to remind myself of this daily in my encounters with others. Just because everything seems calm on the outside doesn't mean there isn't emptiness on the inside that can only be filled by Christ. We are great at putting up facades when underneath there is so much more to be seen. Pray that in my encounters with people and especially Latinons that I have the opportunity to see beyond what's on the outside. Pray that I can talk with them about what's on the inside and that they'll "crack" open so that the Holy Spirit will begin a work in them.
Medical Update:
Well my legs have gone back to swelling again. They had almost gone down to normal! I have been especially frustrated because I've been needing more sleep lately and have been experiencing more pain. Some of this may be the nerves waking up, especially since parts of my legs are still without feeling. Pray that I won't feel defeated throughout the day. The battle usually begins for me each morning as soon as I walk out of my building onto the street to go to language class.. This is when the pain and stiffness hits me, and I feel discouraged. I struggle with creating boundaries for myself physically, so please also pray that I'll realize when I need to slow down and rest. In the moments when I complain to God about all that has occurred and the ongoing issues I encounter, I feel him continually asking me if He's worth everything. He asks me if He's worth pain and if the people here are worth my pain so they can hear His word. These thoughts humble me and help me keep things in perspective in the midst of everything.
Your prayers and encouragement mean everything to me. I always get to tell my team about the great support system I have in you all. Thank you for this.
In Him who's worth all suffering,
Taryn
I have been excited to get to work! It has been a relief to feel as though I'm a part of a team that is doing an amazing work for God. How neat is it when we get to be part of something so much larger than our own personal plans? One thing about being a native English speaker is that many people want to speak English or practice English. I had an opportunity to meet up with a Chinese lady the other day because she so badly wanted to practice her English. Pray that I take opportunities like this to share God's love and the truth about Christ.
Something funny about transportation in Spain is that people really don't talk to each other in public unless they know one another. This makes for a comical situation on the metro. For instance there are performers on the metro that carry speakers with them so they can sing for money. Sometimes there are others who just ride the metro all day long begging for money. One particular day I was fortunate enough (haha) to get on the metro car with a lady who was singing her heart out. It wasn't that she was a bad singer as much as she sang with such passion, and NO ONE even cracked a smile. Everyone was so serious pretending as though she wasn't singing or that she even existed. The song was peppy and update and she expressed this through her voice. I got so tickled that I started giggling and couldn't stop! Usually I have better self control, but the irony of everyone acting as though nothing was happening got to me. A guy, about my age, sitting across from me kept making eye contact with me, probably initially because he realized I wasn't a Spaniard (they have no problem recognizing I'm American). The funny thing is when I started to laugh and kept laughing, he did too! Before I even knew it we both had a fit of the giggles while everyone remained straight-faced as if nothing was happening. I mean, seriously! A lady is walking up and down the car singing, and people remain expressionless. I felt a bond with this guy and I commented to him about how serious Spaniards were. He laughed again and agreed with me saying that Spain can be a serious country.
I felt such an accomplishment because I cracked a Spaniard! Despite their attempts to remain very formal and serious in the metro, someone my age could relate to the funny situation we were in, and he even cracked a smile and laughed with me. This moment reminded me of how easily we hide what's on the inside. On the outside we can appear confident, happy, and successful, but the truth is on the inside we may have none of these things. On the outside we can act as though there isn't a lady singing a passionate song, but on the inside we can be laughing at how ridiculous she is. I have to remind myself of this daily in my encounters with others. Just because everything seems calm on the outside doesn't mean there isn't emptiness on the inside that can only be filled by Christ. We are great at putting up facades when underneath there is so much more to be seen. Pray that in my encounters with people and especially Latinons that I have the opportunity to see beyond what's on the outside. Pray that I can talk with them about what's on the inside and that they'll "crack" open so that the Holy Spirit will begin a work in them.
Medical Update:
Well my legs have gone back to swelling again. They had almost gone down to normal! I have been especially frustrated because I've been needing more sleep lately and have been experiencing more pain. Some of this may be the nerves waking up, especially since parts of my legs are still without feeling. Pray that I won't feel defeated throughout the day. The battle usually begins for me each morning as soon as I walk out of my building onto the street to go to language class.. This is when the pain and stiffness hits me, and I feel discouraged. I struggle with creating boundaries for myself physically, so please also pray that I'll realize when I need to slow down and rest. In the moments when I complain to God about all that has occurred and the ongoing issues I encounter, I feel him continually asking me if He's worth everything. He asks me if He's worth pain and if the people here are worth my pain so they can hear His word. These thoughts humble me and help me keep things in perspective in the midst of everything.
Your prayers and encouragement mean everything to me. I always get to tell my team about the great support system I have in you all. Thank you for this.
In Him who's worth all suffering,
Taryn
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