The Big "Why"

As I was sitting in the doctor's office a few weeks ago, I watched this very "done up" older woman as she was leaving the office with her husband. As she walked pass she made an unwelcomed comment of, "Well you really did yourself up for Christmas!" Now being the kind, sweet person that I am, I didn't respond to her. I made eye contact and just slowly looked away. Now, you may not think that this response was kind or sweet, but if you knew what was flying through my head in that moment, you would agree that it was best I didn't say anything and responded as little as possible. In the milliseconds that this happened, I also considered how much I could get away with saying and still be employed by the IMB. In hindsight this situation makes me laugh, but in the moment I felt such a frustration and cried out to God the big question that everyone has, "WHY?! Why did all of this happen, so that I'm sitting in this doctors office dealing with this inconsiderate lady?"

Now despite the fact that with many things in life we don't know why they happen, we still struggle with this question. I have to use a lot of grace as people give me the answer that they've come up with to the why . Many times people are really trying to encourage and other times it seems as though individuals haven't really thought through what they are saying. This is mostly the category that strangers fall into, like the lovely lady I encountered at the doctor's office.

We want so badly to have an understanding of why these difficult things in life occur. That's why we try to find the best answer that we can. I believe that God can and will work all things for good and for his glory, but what I've learned from having two major car accidents is that we really just don't have the answer right now. I can see glimpses of the "why", but I don't have the big picture. And the important thing for us to realize is that it's okay that we don't know. It's okay to ask God why, but at the end of the day I just have to trust. I've been reading through Genesis, and I've come across the story of Jacob wrestling with God. Sometimes I feel like I just wrestle with God, and I've even considered doing what Jacob did and demanding that I won't stop wrestling until I receive a blessing. Probably shouldn't be demanding anything of God, but I can relate to this struggle.

As much as we may struggle, the main point is that God must be praised and adored. Another thing we hate to admit is that none of this is really about us. It's still all about God. So no matter what the answer to the big question is, I am still commanded to continue following God. It wasn't time for me to go home to be with him yet, so I must continue doing what he commands me to do. If you catch yourself asking the question why, especially recently in the midst of all that is occurring in Haiti, realize you are not alone. Also realize we cannot remain at this question. We must move forward even when we aren't given the answer.

Prayers are answered in a huge way because my teammate Brook is leaving for Spain tomorrow! Pray that she'll have safe travel, and as she starts language study that it will come easy and naturally to her.

More prayers answered that I'm walking around the house more and more. Still using the walker for balance, but pray that these next few weeks I will no longer need it. Pray for strength in my ankles, and that my leg muscles become stronger.

Thanks for going to battle for me in prayer,
Taryn

Always ready to lift you guys up too! Let me know any requests taryneb@yahoo.com